Cow jokes, cow jokes and more cow jokes, I mooved the Earth to compile a list of over 150 funny cow jokes, puns and one liners. I really milked the Internet searching for these mooving jokes.
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Funny Cow Jokes
Funny Cow Jokes 1
Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay!
Funny Cow Jokes 2
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream!
Funny Cow Jokes 3
Why doesn’t Sweden export it’s cattle?
It wants to keep it’s Stockholm!
Funny Cow Jokes 4
What is the definition of moon?
The past tense of moo!
Funny Cow Jokes 5
Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress?
She was charged with rustling!
Funny Cow Jokes 6
Why was the calf afraid?
He was a cow-herd!
Funny Cow Jokes 7
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully!
Funny Cow Jokes 8
What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand?
Cows-mopolitan!
Funny Cow Jokes 9
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat ?
Put him in a tight jumper!
Funny Cow Jokes 10
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
Funny Cow Jokes 11
What does a cow make when the sun comes out?
A shadow.
Funny Cow Jokes 12
What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil?
Pre-tanned leather.
Funny Cow Jokes 13
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom!
Funny Cow Jokes 14
What did the calf say to the silo?
“Is my fodder in there?”
Funny Cow Jokes 15
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic!
Funny Cow Jokes 16
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
To get to the Milky Way!
Funny Cow Jokes 17
What’s a cow’s favorite moosical note?
Beef-flat!
Funny Cow Jokes 18
Why did the farmer fence in the bull?
The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!
Funny Cow Jokes 19
Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow’s food?
He wanted to raised stewed beef!
Funny Cow Jokes 20
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed!
Cow Jokes For Kids
Cow Jokes For Kids 1
If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get?
Half and half!
Cow Jokes For Kids 2
What are cows favorite party games?
MOO-sical chairs!
Cow Jokes For Kids 3
What band is a cow favorite?
Moody Blues.
Cow Jokes For Kids 4
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand!
Cow Jokes For Kids 5
What do cows do for entertainment?
They go to the mooooovies.
Cow Jokes For Kids 6
What is the definition of “derange”?
De place where de cowboys ride!
Cow Jokes For Kids 7
What do cows get when they are sick?
Hay Fever.
Cow Jokes For Kids 8
What do cows get when they do all their chores?
Mooney.
Cow Jokes For Kids 9
What do cows like to do at amoosement parks?
Ride on the roller cowster.
Cow Jokes For Kids 10
What do cows like to listen to?
Moo-sic!
Cow Jokes For Kids 11
What do cows read at the breakfast table?
The moospaper!
Cow Jokes For Kids 12
What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo.
Cow Jokes For Kids 13
What do cows usually fly around in?
Helicowpters and Bulloons.
Cow Jokes For Kids 14
What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii?
Moo moos.
Cow Jokes For Kids 15
What did the cow wear to the football game?
A Jersey.
Cow Jokes For Kids 16
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla!
Cow Jokes For Kids 17
What do you get when you cross a cow with a kangaroo?
A kangamoo!
Cow Jokes For Kids 18
What does a cow like to do by a campfire?
Roast Moosmallows!
Cow Jokes For Kids 19
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle!
Cow Jokes For Kids 20
What famous painting do cows love to look at?
The Moona Lisa!
Cow Puns
Cow Pun 1
What do you get from an invisible cow?
Evaporated milk!
Cow Pun 2
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
A cockerpoodlemoo!
Cow Pun 3
What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache?
A bad mood!
Cow Pun 4
When a bull wants to listen to a cassette, what does he put on his head?
Steer phones!
Cow Pun 5
When is a farmer like a magician?
When he turns his cow into pasture.
Cow Pun 6
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case!
Cow Pun 7
Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat?
To the calf-ateria!
Cow Pun 8
What do you get if you cross a cow, a French fry, and a sofa?
A cowch potato!
Cow Pun 9
Where do cows like to ride on trains?
In the cow-boose.
Cow Pun 10
Where do Danish cows come from?
Cowpenhagenf
Cow Pun 11
Where do milk shakes come from?
Nervous cows!
Cow Pun 12
Where do Russian cows come from?
Moscow!
Cow Pun 13
Where do steers go to dance?
To the Meat Ball!
Cow Pun 14
Where does a cow stop to drink?
The milky way!
Cow Pun 15
Why are cows made for dancing?
They’re all born hoofers!
Cow Pun 16
Why couldn’t the cow leave the farm?
She was pasteurized!
Cow Pun 17
Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers?
She heard he was a cowpuncher!
Cow Pun 18
Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?
She thought children should be seen and not herded!
Cow Joke 19
What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight?
Sir Loin!
Cow Joke 20
What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken?
Roost beef!
Cow Moo Jokes
Cow Moo Jokes 1
What’s a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle?
A nerd herd!
Cow Moo Jokes 2
What’s a moo hoo for a cattle dinner?
Cow chow!
Cow Moo Jokes 3
What’s a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?
A merry dairy!
Cow Moo Jokes 4
What is a cow’s favourite TV show ?
Dr Moo!
Cow Moo Jokes 5
What’s a moo hoo for a young calf?
A new moo!
Cow Moo Jokes 6
What’s a moo hoo for grazing school?
Grass class!
Cow Moo Jokes 7
What’s a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits?
A cud thud!
Cow Moo Jokes 8
What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A lawn moo-er.
Cow Moo Jokes 9
Where do cows like to live?
St. Moo-is.
Cow Moo Jokes 10
What’s a moo hoo for a darling bull?
A dear steer!
Cow Moo Jokes 11
What’s a moo hoo for a stuffed steer?
A full bull!
Cow Moo Jokes 12
What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?
Eski-moos!
Cow Moo Jokes 13
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
Cow Moo Jokes 14
In what state will you find the most cows?
Moo York!
Cow Moo Jokes 15
What is a moo hoo for a cow fight?
A cattle battle!
Cow Moo Jokes 16
What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher?
Ground round!
Cow Moo Jokes 17
What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner?
A charmer farmer!
Cow Moo Jokes 18
What is a moo hoo for a sheepish steer?
A woolly bully!
Cow Moo Jokes 19
What is a moo hoo for steak that came late?
Filet delay!
Cow Moo Jokes 20
What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow?
A tail pail!
Cow One Liners
Cow One Liners 1
What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
Laughing stock.
Cow One Liners 2
What is the golden rule for cows?
Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you!
Cow One Liners 3
What is the most important use for cowhide?
To hold the cow together.
Cow One Liners 4
Cow: Why don’t you shoo those flies?
Bull: I’ll let them go barefoot!
Cow One Liners 5
What animals do you bring to bed?
Your calves.
Cow One Liners 6
If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get?
“Beeflt!”
Cow One Liners 7
Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual?
No, only medium rare!
Cow One Liners 8
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?
They were very impressed!
Cow One Liners 9
How did that bullfight come out?
Oh, it was a toss-up!
Cow One Liners 10
Why do cows wear bells around their necks?
Because their horns don’t work.
Cow One Liners 11
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A!
Cow One Liners 12
What do you call a cow that plays the guitar?
A Moosician!
Cow One Liners 13
How did the farmer find his lost cow?
He tractor down
Cow One Liners 14
How do bulls drive their cars?
They steer them!
Cow One Liners 15
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
Cow One Liners 16
How does a cow do math?
With a cowculator!
Cow One Liners 17
How to you know that cows will be in heaven?
It’s a place of udder delight.
Cow One Liners 18
If you make a cow angry, how will she get even?
She’ll cream you!
Cow One Liners 19
What US state has the most cows?
Moosouri!
Cow One Liners 20
Is there big money in the cattle business?
So I’ve herd!
Cow Jokes
Cow Jokes 1
If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mountain lion, which one would you shoot first?
The mountain lion. You can always shoot the bull!
Cow Jokes 2
I’ve just discovered a method for making wool out of milk! But doesn’t that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
Cow Jokes 3
That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing! I told you he was a bum steer!
Cow Jokes 4
That tornado damage your cow barn any?
Dunno. Haven’t found the durn thing yet!
Cow Jokes 5
What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine?
Hamburger!
Cow Jokes 6
What do you call a bull that’s sent overseas by boat?
Shipped beef!
Cow Jokes 7
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?
Ground Beef.
Cow Jokes 8
What do you call a cow who argues with her husband?
A bullfighter!
Cow Jokes 9
What do you call a cow with no front legs?
Lean Beef.
Cow Jokes 10
What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit?
The first herd shot round the world!
Cow Jokes 11
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull-dozer.
Cow Jokes 12
What do you call a tired cow?
Milked out!
Cow Jokes 13
What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A milk dud!
Cow Jokes 14
What do you call a cow that fell in a hole?
A hole-y Cow!
Cow Jokes 15
What do you call a cow that’s just had a baby?
De-calfinated!
Cow Jokes 16
What do you get from a short-legged cow?
Dragon milk!
Cow Jokes 17
What do you call explosive cow vomit?
A cud missile!
Cow Jokes 18
What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull?
A steak-out!
Cow Jokes 19
What do you get from a cow on the North Pole?
Cold cream!
Cow Jokes 20
What do you get from a cowmedian?
Cream of Wit!
Milk Jokes
Milk Jokes 1
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
Milk Jokes 2
What gives milk and has a horn?
A milk tank!
Milk Jokes 3
What would you get if you crossed a cow with a rabbit?
Hare in your milk!
Milk Jokes 4
What do you get from pampered cows?
Spoiled milk!
Milk Jokes 5
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have ?
Plenty of milk!
Milk Jokes 6
What do cows do when they re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake!
Milk Jokes 7
Why don’t cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry!
Milk Jokes 8
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ?
An udder failure!
Milk Jokes 9
I hear you take milk baths. That’s right. Why?
I can’t find a cow tall enough for a shower!
Milk Jokes 10
What do you get from a forgetful cow?
Milk of amnesia!
Milk Jokes 11
What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus ?
A cow that can milk itself!
Milk Jokes 12
What did one dairy cow say to another?
Got milk?
Milk Jokes 13
What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass?
“Hey! Look at the cow’s nest!”
Milk Jokes 14
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk!
Two Cow Jokes
Two Cow Jokes 1
If you crossed two cows with a flock of ducks, what would you get?
Milk and quackers!
Two Cow Jokes 2
Teacher: Name five things that contain milk. Pupil: Butter, cheese, ice cream and two cows!
Two Cow Jokes 3
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves!
Two Cow Jokes 4
What’s a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns?
A bull pull!
Jokes About Cows
Jokes About Cows 1
Camper: Look at that bunch of cows.
Farmer: Not bunch, herd.
Camper: Heard what?
Farmer: Of cows.
Camper: Sure I’ve heard of cows.
Farmer: No, I mean a cowherd.
Camper: So what? I have no secrets from cows!
Jokes About Cows 2
Pa’s being chased by a bull!
Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it?
Get me some film for my camera!
Jokes About Cows 3
A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked.
“Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!” the farmer answered.
Jokes About Cows 4
Did you hear about the snobby cow?
She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!
Jokes About Cows 5
A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers.
He noticed a bull nearby.
Say, farmer. Is that bull safe?
Well, he’s a lot safer than you are right now!
Jokes About Cows 6
Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?
No! Did he hurt the cows?
No, he just grazed them!
Jokes About Cows 7
I can’t decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm.
Well, wouldn’t you look silly riding a cow?
I’d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!
Jokes About Cows 8
What do cows call Frank Sinatra?
Old Moo Eyes!
Jokes About Cows 9
Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow! Was it a Jersey cow?
I don’t know, I didn’t see her license plate!
Jokes About Cows 10
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
Jokes About Cows 11
Why do cows like being told jokes ?
Because they like being amoosed!
Jokes About Cows 12
What are the spots on black-and-white cows?
Holstaines.
Jokes About Cows 13
What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office?
An encownter group.
Jokes About Cows 14
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
Jokes About Cows 15
What has four legs and goes, “Oom! Oom!”?
A cow walking backwards!
Jokes About Cows 16
What game do little cows like to play?
Moonopoly.
Jokes About Cows 17
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?
Udder chaos!
Jokes About Cows 18
What goes oo ooo oooo?
A cow with no lips.
Jokes About Cows 19
What hair style is a calf’s favorite?
The cowlick!
Jokes About Cows 20
What happened to the lost cattle?
Nobody’s herd.
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