A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, “How many children do you have?” “Ten,” she replied. “What are their names?” he asked. “David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David and David,” she answered. “They’re all named David?” he asked “What if you want them […]

A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious. However, he received a large sum of money from his insurance company. It was always his dream to own his own business, so he went out and […]

An elderly married couple walk into a fast food restaurant. They order one hamburger, one order of fries and one drink. The old man unwraps the plain hamburger and carefully cuts it in half. He places one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counts out the fries, dividing them into two piles […]

The defendant stood up in the dock and said to the judge, “I dont recognize this court!” “Why?” asked the Judge. “Because you’ve had it decorated since the last time I was here.”

Potato Joke 01 How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad. Potato Joke 02 What do you call a baby potato? A small fry! Potato Joke 03 What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up. Potato Joke 04 What does a British potato say when it thinks […]

Q: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: That's “womyn” with a Y, and it's not funny!

Kim Jong Il Joke 1 All I ask is that the Team America Kim Jong-il appears in the sentimental “Those We’ve Lost…” montage in next year’s Oscars. Kim Jong Il Joke 2 America has had to deal with eccentric dictators in the past: Idi Amin, Muammar Qaddafi, Ming the Merciless… but now the security of […]

How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced? A buck an ear.

“Husseinfeld” “Mad About Everything” “U.S. Military Secrets Revealed” “Suddenly Sanctions” “Children Are Forbidden From Saying Anything Darndest” “Matima Loves Chachi” “Buffy The Slayer of Yankee Imperialist Dogs” “Wheel of Fortune and Terror” “Iraq”s Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers” “Achmed”s Creek” “The Price is Right If Saddam Says It”s Right” “M*U*S*T*A*S*H” “Veronica”s Closet Full of Long, Black, […]

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the skies, Air defences were up, with electronic eyes. Combat pilots were nestled in ready-room beds, As enemy silhouettes danced in their heads. Every jet on the apron, each SAM in its tube, Was triply-redundant, linked to the Blue Cube, And ELINT and AWACS gave coverage so […]

Viagra Joke 01 A crate load of Viagra has been stolen from a distribution depot, police are looking for hardened criminals. Viagra Joke 02 A man and his wife went to the chemist to pick up his prescription for Viagra. Seeing the $10 per pill price, the man was astonished – but his wife had […]

Shocked and Tough Babies Picture Caption Please add your funny picture caption below.

Idiot And Fool Joke 1 Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof, laying tile, when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked down their ladder. “I have an idea,” said Mike. “We ll throw you down, and then you can pick up the ladder.” “What, do you think I m stupid? […]

What does a bulimic call two fingers? Dessert.

50 Best Joke 1 Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? A: A blonde going through a flashing red light. 50 Best Joke 2 The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran directly onto the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a dispatch case from […]

What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in a room? A full set of teeth.

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting together for Christmas, they discussed the Christmas gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said, “I built a big house for our mother this Christmas.” The second said, “For Christmas I sent her a Mercedes.” The third smiled and […]

Christmas Joke 1 What do monkeys sing at Christmas ? Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. ! Christmas Joke 2 Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ? They both drop their needles ! Christmas Joke 3 What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas ? Thanks, I ll never part with […]

How many dumb blonde jokes are there? None, they’re all true!

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say, the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for “Termination without Cause.” Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller: “Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?” “Yes, well, I’m having […]

Children Joke 1 A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: “What does the cow say?” Child: “Moo!” Mother: “Great! What does the cat say?” Child: “Meow.” Mother: “Oh, you re so smart! What does the frog say?” And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her […]

A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, “Mama, I don’t want to go out there. It’s dark.” The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. “You don’t have […]

How many old time gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? We ain’t sayin’ nuthin’, see?

What will my computer printer warranty cover? Your mouse pad

An English patient was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and died. The son was so overcome with grief that he […]

Dance Joke 1 Q. What do you have when only one line dancer comes to your party? A. A One Liner! Dance Joke 2 Q. What do you call two line dancers doing the dance Shoot the Rooster? A. A Pair of Shoot (parachute) Dance Joke 3 Q. What do you call a one legged […]

Knock Knock! Who’s there? A little girl. A little girl who? A little girl who can’t reach the doorbell!

Redneck Jokes 101 to 200 Other Redneck Jokes Redneck Jokes 1 to 100 Redneck Jokes 101 to 200 Redneck Jokes 201 to 300 Redneck Jokes 301 to 400 Redneck Jokes 401 to 500 Redneck Jokes 501 to 600 Redneck Jokes 601 to 700 Redneck Jokes 701 to 800 Redneck Jokes 801 to 900 Redneck Joke […]

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because the sound of zippers scares away the sheep.

A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane. Being bored, he turned to the girl and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.” The girl, who was reading a book, closed it slowly and said to the guy, “What […]