Animal Jokes

Have you ever wondered what sheep are thinking as they wander around a field all day eating grass and making that weird baa noise?No, OK, must be just me then :-) Funny Sheep Jokes Funny Sheep Joke 1Two sheep in a fieldOne sheep says “baaa”.The other sheep replies “isn’t it a little early for a […]

Cow jokes, cow jokes and more cow jokes, I mooved the Earth to compile a list of over 150 funny cow jokes, puns and one liners. I really milked the Internet searching for these mooving jokes. Before you moove on to another jokes page, why not become part of the herd and share some cow […]

Snake Joke 1An old snake goes to see his Doctor. “Doc, I need something for my eyes… can’t see well these days”.The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he’s very depressed.Doc says, “What’s the […]

Rabbit Joke 1 A bumble bee was chasing a rabbit. Finally the bee turned around and flew away. Why? The rabbit had two b’s already. Rabbit Joke 2 Baby Rabbit: Mommy, where did I come from? Mother Rabbit: I ll tell you when you re older. Baby Rabbit: Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now. Mother […]

Funny Animal Joke 1 A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. Funny Animal Joke 2 Although cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia. Funny Animal Joke 3 An aquarium is […]

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, “What’s up with the penguins in the back seat?” The man in the car says “I found them. I asked myself what to do […]

Potato Joke 01 How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad. Potato Joke 02 What do you call a baby potato? A small fry! Potato Joke 03 What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up. Potato Joke 04 What does a British potato say when it thinks […]

What do you call a poodle with no legs? A sponge.

Various Animal Joke 1 What do you call a gigantic polar bear? Nothing, you just run away! Various Animal Joke 2 What animal do you look like when you get into the bath ? A little bear ! Various Animal Joke 3 A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a […]

whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper? a seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor Seagull and a babys diaper joke Submitted by Macca5

Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog had recently died. “You know,” Mom said, “it’s not your fault that the dog died. He’s probably up in heaven right now, having a grand old time with God.” Susie, still crying, said, “What would God want with a dead dog?”

Two cows were talking in the field. One cow says, “Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that’s going around?” The other cow answers, “Yeah, makes you glad you’re a penguin, doesn”t it?”

Funny Horse Jokes Funny Horse Joke 1Why did the horse miss the joust? He had the knight off! Funny Horse Joke 2A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn’t show up at the church. He got colt feet Funny Horse Joke 3As horses say to one another. Any friend […]

A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant. A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law. The panda bear tells the policeman that he’s innocent and, if he didn’t believe […]

One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car. He stepped on the gas but at 50 miles per hour. The chicken was still keeping up. After about a mile of running the chicken ran […]

A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town. To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given. He got toward the […]

Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer’s day? A: I’m bacon!

There is a Bar in Calumpang who have has a Horse and they have a contest of it. Whoever will make the horse laugh will win P5,000 and free drinks. So a man from Manila comes in and the Bartender looks at him and he ask for a beer and he ask the Bartender about […]

Would a Police-Dog arrest itself for fouling the street? Police Dog Joke Submitted by Kabogga

Animal Truism Joke 01 I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult? Animal Truism Joke 02 If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket then giving Fido only two of them. Animal Truism Joke 03 In order to keep a true perspective of […]

Elephant Joke 1 Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes? A: Slow clowns. Elephant Joke 2 We re going to play elephants and circuses, said a little boy at kindergarten, Do you want to join in? I d love to, replied the teacher. What do you want me to do? Elephant Joke 3 […]

Aardvark Joke 1 What is uglier than an aardvark? Two aardvarks! Aardvark Joke 2 What does the aardvark call his dog? Aard-bark! Aardvark Joke 3 What is the difference between an aardvark and a coyote? One has a long smeller, the other, a loud yeller! Aardvark Joke 4 Who loves hamburgers, French fries, and ants? […]

“How have you managed to buy such a luxurious villa while your income is so low?” asked the IRS auditor. “Well,” the taxpayer answered, “while fishing last summer I have caught a large golden fish. When I took it off the hook, the fish opened his mouth and said, ‘I am a magical fish. Throw […]

Gorilla Joke 1 A man walks outside to his car for work, when he notices a gorilla in his tree. He rushs to his phone book and finds the animal control number, calls and asks them to send over someone Who’s a gorilla expert. When the man arrives, he is carrying a shotgun, a chihuahua […]

One day, Little Rabbit FooFoo was hopping through the forest, snatching all the mice, and bonking them on the head. A good fairy appeared. “Little Rabbit FooFoo, what you’re doing is evil! Stop it, or Mother Nature will turn you into something gooney!” she said. Little Rabbit FooFoo just laughed and laughed. The next day, […]

Zoo Joke 1 A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out. When the fence was forty feet […]

One day, a fairy visits a lonely widow and says that she is there to give her three wishes. ”I wish I was 21 and beautiful!” The wish is instantly granted. ”I wish I had a million dollars!” The wish is granted. ”I wish that my cat here were the most handsome guy in the […]

It’s a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! “Who’s been eating my porridge?” he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his […]

Two goldfish were in their tank. One turns to the other and says, ‘You man the guns, I’ll drive.’

Why did the chicken cross the road? ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no […]