Blonde Jokes

This dumb blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along. The guy asks, ”What are you carrying?” ”Melons,” the dumb blonde replies. ”Cool,” the guy says. “If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?” The dumb blonde giggles and says, ”If you can […]

How many dumb blonde jokes are there? None, they’re all true!

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. […]

Blonde Joke 1 A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee’s well being, asks sympathetically, “What’s the matter?” The blonde replies, “Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.” “I m terribly sorry to hear that. Why don’t you […]

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field, rowing a boat with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the dumb rowing blonde, “What do you think you’re doing? It’s things like […]

A smart blonde, a stupid blonde and Santa Claus play poker, who wins? The stupid blonde because the other two don't exist.

Q: Why can’t dumb blondes make ice cubes? A: Because they always forget the recipe.

A dumb blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys. The dumb blond […]

What do you call a dumb blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant.

A dumb blonde is on a four-engine plane crossing the Atlantic. All of a sudden there’s a loud bang. The pilot announces over the intercom “I’m sorry, one of our engines has just shut off. We’ll be delayed 45 minutes.” Suddenly there’s another bang. Once again, the intercom clicks on and the pilot expresses his […]

A dumb blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don”t sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the dumb blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, […]

A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, “I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?” “Why sure,”; said the manager, “we have something that works especially well for that.” A couple minutes later, […]

Rowing Your Boat Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said “You know – it’s blondes like that that give us a bad name!” To this, the other […]

A blonde goes into a library and says, “Hello. I’m here to see the doctor.” The librarian replies, “This is a library.” So the blonde lowers her voice and says, “Oh sorry!” Then whispers, “I’m here to see the doctor.”

One day this cop pulls over a dumb blonde for speeding. The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license. ”You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license and the next day you ask me to show it.” Rating: 4/5 Comment: Wouldn’t be surprised if […]

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck’s driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not […]

A blonde was at home watching TV with her friends when she heard a noise. She ran out just in time to see a thief drive off in her car. “Did you see their face?” her friends asked when she came back inside. “No, but it’s okay — I got the license plate number!” Rating: […]

A beautiful young blonde woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. […]

After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, “You wanna hear a dumb blonde joke?” The person replies, “I am 240 pounds, world kick boxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend […]

A dumb blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop. The repairman, noticing that the woman was a dumb blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun. So he told her that all she had to was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the […]

One day, at a bus stop there was a dumb blonde girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn’t get her foot high enough to reach to step. Thinking it would give her enough […]

A dumb fat blonde read an article on the dangers of eating too much fat and drinking too much booze and it scared the heck out of her! The fat blonde decided, “That’s it!” After today, no more reading.

Two dumb blondes were shopping at the mall. When they were done, they went out to their car, which happened to be an awesome leather-interior convertible, but they realized they had locked the keys in the car. So they both kind of stood there and thought for a while. Then one of the girls had […]

Q: Why did the dumb blonde keep a picture of herself in her room? A: So she could use it as a mirror.

Q: How many blonde jokes are there? A: One. The rest are all true stories.

A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears. The genie says, “You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much.” The woman says, “Okay. Give me a […]