Funny Jokes

It’s joke time, time for the top jokes of all time, take your eyes of the clock and settle down to the funniest time of your life. Funny Time Jokes Funny Time Joke 1“I hope you’re not one of those boys who sits and watches the school clock?” said the principal to a new boy.“No, […]

A bus isn’t just a vehicle for traveling from point A to point B, it’s also a great place for sleeping, meeting weird and scary people late at night on the night bus and of course useful to keep warm when the government has cut welfare payments to the elderly! Oh, and here’s some bus […]

Cow jokes, cow jokes and more cow jokes, I mooved the Earth to compile a list of over 150 funny cow jokes, puns and one liners. I really milked the Internet searching for these mooving jokes. Before you moove on to another jokes page, why not become part of the herd and share some cow […]

The definition of camping: where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person! Funny Camping Jokes Funny Camping Joke 1A Summer book never written: “Camping is So Inexpensive” by Seymour Foreles. Funny Camping Joke 2An adventurer was paddling on a river during a winter camping trip. Feeling cold, he lit a fire […]

Whether you like weather jokes or not I insist you enjoy the weather jokes below and after reading them all also check out some amazing weather puns. Funny Weather Jokes Funny Weather Jokes 1It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July. Funny Weather Jokes 2Why do mother kangaroos […]

Looking for the best funny Dad jokes around, well tough, below are some of the worst, baddest and corny Dad jokes around. Bad Dad Jokes Bad Dad Joke 1When does a joke turn into a Dad joke?When it becomes apparent. Bad Dad Joke 2How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Fathers day?He […]

Hard to believe, but I found over 10 not too bad manhole jokes on Google, who knew manhole cover jokes were a thing! Manhole Jokes Manhole Joke 1If someone kills their self by jumping down a manhole, is it sewercide? Manhole Joke 2Why are manhole covers round?Because if they were square, you couldn’t play twiddlywinks […]

Barbie Doll Joke 1There is a new Barbie doll on the market – Crash Test Barbie.Barbie comes with car and brick wall. Barbie Doll Joke 2There is a new Barbie doll on the market – Marie Antoinette Barbie.Barbie comes with removable head; guillotine included. Barbie Doll Joke 3There is a new Barbie doll on the […]

What do you call a person who likes to hang around with musicians? A drummer.

Humor Joke 1 How do you get pikachu on to a boat? You pokemon Humor Joke 2 Well, a man was driving down a country road, and he decided to get out and get some fresh air. He got out, and started walking in a meadow. As he walked, he came upon a hole. Wanting […]

Dance Joke 1 Q. What do you have when only one line dancer comes to your party? A. A One Liner! Dance Joke 2 Q. What do you call two line dancers doing the dance Shoot the Rooster? A. A Pair of Shoot (parachute) Dance Joke 3 Q. What do you call a one legged […]

A cowboy rides his horse up to a saloon. All the patrons gawked as the cowboy kissed his horse on the butt before coming in and asking for a drink. The bartender serves him and asks, “Mind if I ask why’d ya kiss your horse on the butt?” The cowboy says, “It’s ’cause I got […]

Chat Up Line Joke 01 I love your smile, your face, and your eyes Damn, I’m good at telling lies! Chat Up Line Joke 02 I see your face when I am dreaming, That’s why I always wake up screaming. Chat Up Line Joke 03 I want to feel your sweet embrace, But don’t take […]

Elevator Joke 1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: “Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!” Elevator Joke 2. Whistle the first seven notes of “It's a Small World” incessantly. Elevator Joke 3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there?” Elevator Joke […]

A man was scheduled to go before a firing squad for his crimes. The evening before his execution, he was asked what he wanted for his last meal. He refused the meal completely. The next morning the man was brought before the firing squad. When asked for his last request, the man said he had […]

Beauty Joke 1 My Mother uses lemon juice for her complexion. Maybe that is why she always looks so sour. Beauty Joke 2 I m not ugly. I could marry anyone I pleased! But that’s the problem – you don’t please anyone. Beauty Joke 3 Fred: What’s that terribly ugly thing on your shoulders? Harry: […]

As a drunk guy staggers out of the bar one Friday evening, a fire engine races past, siren wailing and lights flashing. Immediately, the drunk starts chasing the engine, running as fast as he can until eventually he collapses, gasping for breath. In a last act of desperation he shouts after the fire engine, “If […]

“What happened?” asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed. “Well, I went down to Margate at the weekend and decided to take a ride on the roller coaster. As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the […]

Mrs. Bacciagalupe comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. Anthony lives with a female roommate, Maria. During the course of the meal, Momma can’t help but notice how pretty Anthony’s roommate was. She had long been suspicious of the relationship between the two, and this made her more curious. Over the course of the […]

Space Joke 1 What do you call an alien starship that drips water? A crying saucer ! Space Joke 2 What do you call an overweight ET ? An extra cholesterol ! Space Joke 3 President Dubya was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon. “Mr. President,” said the four-star general, barely […]

A woman answered her front door and found two little boys standing there holding a list. “Lady,” one of them explained, “we’re on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar.” “Wow,” the woman replied. “Who sent you […]

Farmer Joke 1 This farmer has 500 hens but no rooster so he goes to his neighbor and asks him if he could buy a rooster for $100. The neighbor says, “You can have this rooster. His name’s Roy. He ll get all your hens pregnant. He’s a real stud.” So the farmer takes him […]

Book Title Joke 1 How to Feed Elephants by P. Nutts Book Title Joke 2 Aches and Pains by Arthur Ritis Book Title Joke 3 The Spicy Sausage by Delia Katessen Book Title Joke 4 The Punished Schoolboy by Major Bumsaw Book Title Joke 5 The Long Walk Home by Miss D. Buss Book Title […]

The post graduate with a Science degree asks, “Why does it work?” The post graduate with an Engineering degree asks, “How does it work?” The post graduate with an Accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?” The post graduate with a Philosophy degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”

Old Age Joke 1 Q: Why did the old lady put wheels on her rocking chair? A: She wanted to rock and roll Old Age Joke 2 An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags […]

Waiter Joke 1 Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don’t worry, Sir, it’s not that hot! Waiter Joke 2 A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat. “Are you crazy?” yelled the customer, “with your hand on my steak?” “What” answers the waiter, “You want […]

Biologist Joke 1 Two biologists are in the field following the tracks of a radio-collared grizzly bear. All of a sudden, the bear crashes out of the brush and heads right for them. They scramble up the nearest tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first biologist starts taking off […]

Brother And Sister Joke 1 So you are distantly related to the family next door, are you? Yes- their dog is our dog’s brother. Brother And Sister Joke 2 A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. Well, said the Scout. Mum had only one dose of […]

A college graduate with a science degree asks, “Why does it work?” A college graduate with an engineering degree asks, “How does it work?” A college graduate with an accounting degree asks, “How much it cost?” A college graduate with a liberal arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”

A researcher arrives in Borneo to gather data for his thesis. Accompanied by his trusty guide, he seeks out a very remote locale for researching the mating behaviour of the giant rat of Sumatra. Around dusk of the first day, he’s sitting by the campfire with his guide when in the distance, he hears tribal […]