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Lawyer Jokes

It’s Time to Get a New Lawyer When Joke

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

– The prosecutor sees your lawyer in the hall, and they high-five each other. – During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway. […]


Big and Small Circles Drug Dealers Joke

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

Two drug dealers were brought before a judge on drug charges. The judge said, “If, over the weekend, you persuade enough people to give up […]


Catfish and a Lawyer Jokes

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

Q. What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? A. One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish! Q. […]


Funny Criminal Jokes

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

Criminal Joke 1 Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow […]


A Jury Full of Lawyers Joke

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under […]


Unfamiliar Court Joke

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

The defendant stood up in the dock and said to the judge, “I dont recognize this court!” “Why?” asked the Judge. “Because you’ve had it […]


Funny Lawyer Jokes

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

Lawyer Joke 1 A lawyer with insomnia consulted her doctor. “Which side is it best to lie on?” she asked. “The side that pays your […]


Law School Graduation Joke

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

Q: What do you buy a friend graduating from Law School? A: A lobotomy.


Lawyer Genius Joke

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50? A: Your honor.


Funny Valentine’s Day Cards Joke

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright […]


Doctors Best Patients Joke

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

Three Doctors are discussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, ”I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.” Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ”I […]


The Maths Test Joke

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, “What is 2+2?” The […]


Defense Lawyer’s Good News Bad News Joke

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

“I have good news and bad news,” the defense lawyer says to his client. ”What’s the bad news?” The lawyer says, “Your blood matches the […]


I want to become a lawyer joke

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. “I want to become a lawyer. How much is it […]


Catfish and Lawyers Joke

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

What’s the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One’s a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling scavenger, the other is just a fish.


Judge’s Announcement Joke

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

A judge enters the courtroom, strikes the gavel and says, “Before I begin this trial, I have an announcement to make. “The lawyer for the […]


Funny Law Jokes

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

Funny Law 1 Anthony’s Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Funny Law 2 Bell’s Theorem: As […]


Unjust Criticism of Lawyers Joke

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

Lawyers get a lot of unjust criticism. I would remind you that it is not right to condemn a whole profession just because of 350,000 […]


US Attorney Generals screw in a light bulb joke

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

Q: How many US Attorney Generals does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I cannot recall that particular answer at this time.


Lawyer Jokes

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

What’s wrong with lawyer jokes? Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and nobody else seems to think that they’re jokes.


New Evidence Court Case Joke

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

The day after a verdict had been entered against his client, the lawyer rushed to the judge’s chambers, demanding that the case to be reopened, […]


Funny Judge Jokes

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

Judge Joke 1 The cross eyed judge looked at the three defendants in the dock and said to the first one, “So how do you […]


One is a doctor, one is a lawyer joke

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

It is the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere, two cars both slightly cross over the white line in the centre of […]


Ungracious Lawyer Joke

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

A lawyer had successfully handled a difficult law case for a wealthy friend. Following the happy outcome of the case, the friend and client called […]


Tax Forms Joke

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

Tax day — April 15 — was looming when an elderly woman showed up at the IRS. She said she required a thick stack of […]


Equating Lawyers Joke

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

If you laid all of the lawyers in the world end-to-end around the equator, it would be a good idea to leave them there.


Serving Lawyers Bar Joke

Posted in Lawyer Jokes

A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender “Do you serve lawyers here?” “Sure do,” replied the bartender. “Good,” said […]


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