Money Jokes

Funny Money Jokes Over 80 mildly amusing clean and work safe jokes and puns about money. Funny Money Joke 1“Five dollars for one question!” said the girl to the fortune-teller. “That’s very expensive, isn’t it?”“Next!” Funny Money Joke 2How can you be sure you have counterfeit money?If it’s a three-dollar bill, you can be sure.. […]

Accountants might be dull and boring, but it’s so much fun making jokes at the expense of accountants. Enjoy over 75 jokes related to accountants. Funny Accounting Jokes Funny Accounting Joke 1An accountant visited the Natural History museum. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor: “This dinosaur is two billion years and […]

Understanding Marketing Jokes You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them and say, “I'm fantastic in bed.” That's Direct Marketing. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a fabulous girl/guy. You have one of your friends approach them, point at you and say, “She's/He's fantastic in bed.” That's […]

Funny Business Jokes Funny Business Jokes 1 A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal went to church to pray for the money. By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt. The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100 into […]

Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof has been developed that explains why this is true: Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power. Postulate 2: Time is Money. As every engineer knows, Work = Power * Time Since Knowledge = Power, and Time = Money, we have: […]

A guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, “I want to open a blankety-blank checking account” To which the lady replied, “I beg your pardon, what did you say?” “Listen up darn it, I said I want to open a blankety-blank checking account right now.” “Sir, I’m sorry but […]

One day, an old lady went to the Bank of Canada with a large bag full of money. The old lady insisted on speaking to the president of the Bank in order to open a savings account because, she said, she had a lot of money. After much discussion an employee took her to the […]

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. He told his wife, “When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take […]

Salesman Joke 1A salesman walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared.“I will grant you three wishes,” announced the genie. “But since Satan still hates me, for every wish you make, your rival gets the wish as well — only double.”The salesman thought about this for […]

Four guys went golfing; one went in the clubhouse to pay while the others waited at the first tee. One of the guys says, “I’m so proud of my son. He is a stock broker and he’s made enough that he just gave away a huge portfolio.” The next guy said, “I’m so proud of […]

A boy who is a massive football fan wants to buy his favourite teams football shirt, but has no money. He borrows £25 from his Mum and £25 off his Dad, borrowing £50 in total. The team football shirt costs £47, so he is given £3 change. He gives £1 to his Mum and £1 […]

Why did God create economists? To make weathermen look good!

Three guys are in a strip club. One guy walks over to a stripper, licks a 50 dollar bill and sticks it to one side of her butt. The next guy doesn’t want to be shown up so he takes a 100 dollar bill, licks it, and sticks it to the other side of her […]

A thief stuck a pistol in a man’s ribs and said, “Give me your money.” The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said “You cannot do this, I’m a United States Congressman!” The thief said, “In that case, give me my money!”

One of life’s disappointments is discovering that the man who writes the bank’s loan ads is not the one who makes the bank loans.

An American consultant was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, “Only […]