Sport Jokes

Jock Joke 1The basketball coach stormed into the university president’s office and demanded a raise right then and there.“Please,” protested the college President, “you already make more than the entire History department.”“Yeah, maybe so, but you don’t know what I have to put up with,” the coach blustered. “Look.”He went out into the hall and […]

A teacher asks her students if they’re Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student. “Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?” “The Red Sox.” “Why’s that?” “Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I’m a Red Sox fan too.” “That’s not a good answer, Bobby. If […]

One Sunday morning, a priest wakes up and decides to go golfing. He calls his boss and says that he feels very sick, and won’t be able to go to work. Way up in heaven, Saint Peter sees all this and asks God, ”Are you really going to let him get away with this?” ”No, […]

Hunting Joke 1 An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break […]

A man went over to his girl’s place for a little bit of nookie between the sheets. He presented her with three choices of condom — gold, silver, or bronze. “Silver,” she said. “Why not gold?” “Because I want you to come second for once!”

Cletus took Maynard to his first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s Bench. After the game, Cletus asked Maynard how he liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” he replied, “but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, Cletus asked, “What do you […]

During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the little animals. The big animals were crushing little animals and at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals. At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first […]

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: […]

Fishing Joke 1 Bob is sitting on the ice all day fishing with no luck, not even a nibble. Cold and tired he is about to leave, when a guy walks up cuts a hole in the ice beside him, and starts pulling out fish as fast a he can drop his hook in the […]

20. The hole closed on him before he could penetrate it. 19. He came at his blind side and got him from behind. 18. He’s off to the sidelines for a quick blow. 17. It’s a game of inches. 16. That hole was so big, you could drive a truck through it. 15. When you […]

Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, like they do every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, “Do you think there’s baseball in heaven?” Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, “I dunno. But let’s make a deal: if I die […]

Tiger Woods Joke 01 Did you hear Nike’s new motto? Just do me. Tiger Woods Joke 02 Did you hear Tiger Woods changed his name to Cheetah? Tiger Woods Joke 03 One of the women who claims she slept with Tiger Woods says they never talked about golf while having sex. However, contractually Tiger was […]

Coach Jones called the young lad in from center field during a Little League game for a conference. “See here Larry,” said the coach, “you know the principles of good sportsmanship that the Little League practices. You also know we don’t tolerate temper tantrums, shouting at the umpire, or abusive language. Do I make myself […]

A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf, were about to tee off on the third hole, which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice – her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to her surprise, the ball […]

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you? A: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your […]

One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, with no scuba gear on whatsoever. The diver went below another 10 feet, but the guy joined him a minute later. The diver went below 15 more feet, and a minute […]

A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf and enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. Being a hack golfer, he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway. He looks at the caddy and says, “I’ve played […]

Sport Joke 1 Where do religious school children practice sports? In the prayground! Sport Joke 2 How did the basketball court get wet? The players dribbled all over it! Sport Joke 3 Why did the chicken get sent off? For persistent fowl play! Sport Joke 4 Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery […]

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down […]

The golf course was haunted by a malicious, evil leprechaun who exploited the ambitions of the poorer players. He popped up beside one unfortunate man who was participating in a club competition. “Look,” he said, “if you agree never to court a woman, flirt with a girl or marry, I’ll help you win at golf.” […]