Funny Rude Jokes
Funny Rude Jokes 1
Why can’t Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69.
Funny Rude Jokes 2
Why can’t scientists find a cure for AIDS?
They can’t get the laboratory mice to arse fuck.
Funny Rude Jokes 3
Why can’t women read maps?
Because only the male mind can comprehend the concept of 1 inch equals a mile.
Funny Rude Jokes 4
Why did dinosaurs have sex under water?
You try to keep five hundred pounds of pussy wet!
Funny Rude Jokes 5
Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?
He heard the snow blower coming.
Disrespectful Jokes 1
Why did the woman cross the road?
Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?
Disrespectful Jokes 2
Why do men pay more for car insurance?
Women don’t get blow jobs while they’re driving
Disrespectful Jokes 3
Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow?
So, when you pull their tits they won’t shit on the floor.
Disrespectful Jokes 4
Why do women have arms?
Have you any idea how long it would take to LICK a bathroom clean?
Disrespectful Jokes 5
Why do women have small feet?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Rude Funny Jokes
Rude Funny Jokes 1
Why did God create Adam before he created eve?
Because he didn’t want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
Rude Funny Jokes 2
Why did God create alcohol?
So ugly people would have a chance to have sex.
Rude Funny Jokes 3
Why did god give men penises?
So they’d always have at least one way to shut a woman up!
Rude Funny Jokes 4
Why did God invent yeast infection?
So women know what it feels like to live with an annoying cunt.
Rude Funny Jokes 5
why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall?
To see her crack
Cruel Jokes 1
Why did the boy fall off the swing?
He didn’t have any arms.
Cruel Jokes 2
Why do women stop bleeding when entering the menopause ?
Because they need all the blood for their varicose veins !
Cruel Jokes 3
Why does it take longer to build a blond snowman?
Because you have to hollow the head out.
Cruel Jokes 4
Why haven’t they sent a woman to the moon yet?
It doesn’t need cleaning.
Cruel Jokes 5
Why is a Laundromat a bad place for a guy to pick up women?
Women who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
Rude Jokes 1
Why did Raggedy Anne get thrown out of the toy box?
Because she kept sitting on Pinocchio’s face moaning, “Lie to me!”
Rude Jokes 2
Why did the Avon lady walk funny?
Rude Jokes 3
Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him?
He came home shit faced.
Rude Jokes 4
Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra?
So sex wouldn’t be such a pain in the arse.
Rude Jokes 5
Why did the lumber truck stop?
To let the lumber jack off.
Rude Jokes 6
Why don’t men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.
Rude Jokes 7
Why don’t witches wear panties when flying on their broomsticks?
Rude Jokes 8
Why don’t women wear watches?
There’s a clock on the stove!
Rude Jokes 9
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
They already have boyfriends.
Rude Jokes 10
Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
When it’s time to go back to his childhood, he’s already there.
Crude Jokes 1
Why is a woman’s pussy like a warm toilet seat?
They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you.
Crude Jokes 2
Why don’t little girls fart?
Because they don’t get assholes until they’re married.
Crude Jokes 3
Why does a dog lick its penis?
Because it can’t make a fist.
Crude Jokes 4
Why was Tigger’s head in the toilet?
He was looking for pooh!
Crude Jokes 5
Why is the space between a woman’s breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
Short Rude Jokes
Short Rude Jokes 1
Why do bunnies have soft sex?
They have cotton balls
Short Rude Jokes 2
Why do female skydivers wear jock straps?
So they don’t whistle on the way down.
Short Rude Jokes 3
Why do horny women order at Subway?
Short Rude Jokes 4
Why do women have two holes so close together?
In case you miss.
Short Rude Jokes 5
Why do women pierce their bellybutton?
Place to hang their air freshener.
Cheeky Jokes 1
Why do women wear black underwear?
They are mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.
Cheeky Jokes 2
Why does a bride smile when she’s walking down the aisle?
She knows she’s given her last blow job.
Cheeky Jokes 3
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?
They don’t stop for directions.
Cheeky Jokes 4
Why doesn’t Smokey the bear have any kids?
Because every time his wife gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.
Cheeky Jokes 5
Why don’t Canadians have group sex?
Too many thank-you letters to write afterwards.
Rude Jokes for Adults
Rude Jokes for Adults 1
Why did the woman get thrown out of the riding stable?
She wanted to mount the horse her way.
Rude Jokes for Adults 2
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Rude Jokes for Adults 3
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
Rude Jokes for Adults 4
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls!
Rude Jokes for Adults 5
Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week?
Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!