Monster Puns
Monster Pun 1
FIRST MONSTER: Am I late for dinner?
SECOND MONSTER: Yes, everyone’s been eaten.
Monster Pun 2
How did the world’s tallest monster become short overnight?
Someone stole all his money.
Monster Pun 3
Did you hear about the monster who had an extra pair of hands?
Where did he keep them?
In a handbag.
Monster Pun 4
If storks bring human babies, what bring monster babies?
Cranes.
Monster Pun 5
Did you hear about the monster with five legs?
His trousers fit him like a glove.
Monster Pun 6
How can you tell if a monster has a glass eye?
Because it comes out in conversation
Monster Pun 7
FIRST MONSTER: I’m going to a party tonight.
SECOND MONSTER: Oh, are you?
FIRST MONSTER: Yes, I must go to the graveyard and dig out a few old friends.
Monster Pun 8
On which day do monsters eat people?
Chewsday.
Monster Pun 9
Here’s a good book, said the sales assistant in the book shop to Mrs Monster. “How To Help Your Husband Get Ahead.”
No, thank you, said Mrs Monster. My husband’s got two heads already.
Monster Pun 10
Could you kill a monster just by throwing eggs at him?
Of course, he’d be eggs-terminated.
Monster Pun 11
How does a monster begin a fairy tale?
“Once upon a slime…”
Monster Pun 12
FIRST MONSTER: I fancy eating the city of Hong Kong tonight. Care to join me?
SECOND MONSTER: No thanks, I can’t stand Chinese food.
Monster Pun 13
Little monster: Mom I’ve finished. Can I leave the table?
Mommy monster: Yes, I’ll save it for your tea.
Monster Pun 14
Boy: Did you know you can get fur from a three headed mountain monster?
Girl: Really? What kind of fur?
Boy: As fur away as possible!
Monster Pun 15
Mommy monster: Don’t eat that uranium.
Little monster: Why not?
Mommy monster: You’ll get atomic-ache.
Monster Pun 16
First monster: That pretty girl over there just rolled her eyes at me.
Second monster: Well you’d better roll them back to her, she might need them.
Monster Pun 17
What aftershave do monsters wear?
Brute.
Monster Pun 18
A monster walked into the council rent office with a $5 note stuck in one ear and a $10 note in the other. You see, he was $15 in arrears.
Monster Pun 19
Did you hear about the monster who lost all his hair in the war?
He lost it in a hair raid.
Monster Pun 20
How did the monster cure his sore throat?
He spent all day gargoyling.
Funny Monster Puns
Funny Monster Pun 1
What did the big, hairy monster do when he lost a hand?
He went to the second-hand shop.
Funny Monster Pun 2
What did the monster say to his psychiatrist?
I feel abominable.
Funny Monster Pun 3
What do sea monsters have for dinner?
Fish and ships.
Funny Monster Pun 4
What do they have for lunch at Monster School?
Human beans, boiled legs, pickled bunions and eyes-cream.
Funny Monster Pun 5
What do you call a monster with a wooden head?
Edward.
Funny Monster Pun 6
What do you call a monster with two wooden heads?
Edward Woodward.
Funny Monster Pun 7
What do you get if you cross a tall green monster with a fountain pen?
The Ink-credible Hulk.
Funny Monster Pun 8
What happened to Ray when he met the man-eating monster?
He became an ex-Ray.
Funny Monster Pun 9
What happened when the monster stole a bottle of perfume?
He was convicted of fragrancy.
Funny Monster Pun 10
What is a monster’s favourite drink?
Demonade.
Funny Monster Pun 11
What is a monster’s favourite society?
The Consumers Association.
Funny Monster Pun 12
What kind of monster can sit on the end of your finger?
The bogeyman.
Funny Monster Pun 13
What’s a monsters favorite play?
Romeo and Ghouliet
Funny Monster Pun 14
Where do space monsters live?
In far distant terror-tory.
Funny Monster Pun 15
Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?
He was exceeding the feed limit!
Funny Monster Pun 16
Why did the monster go into hospital?
To have his ghoul-stones removed.
Funny Monster Pun 17
Why did the monster take a dead man for a drive in his car?
Because he was a car-case.
Funny Monster Pun 18
Why did the monster take his nose apart?
To see what made it run.
Funny Monster Pun 19
Why is the monsters football pitch wet?
Because the players keep dribbling on it.
Funny Monster Pun 20
Why was the monster standing on his head?
He was turning things over in his mind.
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