Articles by Funny Joker

One day, Little Rabbit FooFoo was hopping through the forest, snatching all the mice, and bonking them on the head. A good fairy appeared. “Little Rabbit FooFoo, what you’re doing is evil! Stop it, or Mother Nature will turn you into something gooney!” she said. Little Rabbit FooFoo just laughed and laughed. The next day, […]

What do you call a dumb blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant.

A dumb blonde is on a four-engine plane crossing the Atlantic. All of a sudden there’s a loud bang. The pilot announces over the intercom “I’m sorry, one of our engines has just shut off. We’ll be delayed 45 minutes.” Suddenly there’s another bang. Once again, the intercom clicks on and the pilot expresses his […]

Why was the condom flying through the air? It got pissed off.

A dumb blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don”t sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the dumb blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, […]

If you read the “Yo Mamas So Fat Jokes” page you’ll have seen there’s over 400 user comments (more yo mamma jokes)! You can see that joke page at Yo Mamas So Fat Jokes. I’ve pulled all the yo mamma jokes from the comments and pasted them below to make them a little easier to […]

Telephone Joke 1 After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite coast, the telephone became their chief means of communication. When our phone bills showed astronomical increases, the other spouse and I sought relief. Since we both owned computers, […]

Redneck Jokes 701-800 Other Redneck Jokes Redneck Jokes 1 to 100 Redneck Jokes 101 to 200 Redneck Jokes 201 to 300 Redneck Jokes 301 to 400 Redneck Jokes 401 to 500 Redneck Jokes 501 to 600 Redneck Jokes 601 to 700 Redneck Jokes 701 to 800 Redneck Jokes 801 to 900 Redneck Joke 701 You […]

A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, “I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?” “Why sure,”; said the manager, “we have something that works especially well for that.” A couple minutes later, […]

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Green, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Rodney, what's your problem?” Rodney answered, “I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!” Ms. Green had […]

A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when […]

Murphy’s Combat Laws are very funny, a fresh take on the very old Murphy’s Laws states…. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 01 A “sucking chest wound” is nature’s way of telling you to slow down. Murphy’s Laws of Combat 02 A clean (and dry) set of BDU’s is a magnet for mud and rain. Murphy’s Laws […]

I was nearing the final stages of my college preparation to become an elementary school teacher. During my Junior Year we were required to visit several classrooms of varying grades to get a feel for what we were getting ourselves into. Males in elementary education are a rarity and I soon learned that the children […]

Religious Joke 1 A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, “The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!” They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car. “Leave us alone you religious nuts!” yelled the first driver as […]

Knock Knock Joke 1 Knock Knock Who’s there ! Aardvark ! Aardvark who ? Aardvark a million miles for one of your smiles ! Knock Knock Joke 2 Knock Knock Who’s there ! Aaron ! Aaron who ! Aaron the barber’s floor ! Knock Knock Joke 3 Knock Knock Who’s there ! Abba ! Abba […]

Answer Me This Joke 1 What will fall on the lawn first? An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue? Answer Me This Joke 2 Do steam rollers really roll steam? Answer Me This Joke 3 Why do you need a driver’s licence to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive? Answer Me This Joke […]

A computer scientist, a surgeon, and a civil engineer were gathered at the pub. The surgeon boasts, Surgery is the oldest technology in the world. It’s in the Bible. God removed Adam’s rib while he slept. This is clear evidence that surgery pre-dates all other technological endevors. Without so much as a beat, the civil […]

Zoo Joke 1 A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out. When the fence was forty feet […]

Jane calls the doctor in a panic. “Doctor, doctor! My little Jimmy swallowed a dozen aspirin. What should I do?” The doctor asked Jane, “Are you sure it was a dozen?” The frantic mother says, “Absolutely! Doctor, I’m scared to death!” The doctor tells the mother, “Calm down. Is little Jimmy crying?” Jane says “No.” […]

A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, “Mummy, why is my name Petal?” The mother replied, “Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head.” The next baby walked up and asked, “Mummy why is my name Rose?” she […]

One day George W. Bush went out to dinner with a Jewish friend. The friend recommended a kosher place nearby. They arrived and Dubya’s friend ordered them both the house specialty: matzo ball soup. The waiter brought the bowls and George looked at the soup suspiciously, but his friend urged him to try at least […]

One day, a fairy visits a lonely widow and says that she is there to give her three wishes. ”I wish I was 21 and beautiful!” The wish is instantly granted. ”I wish I had a million dollars!” The wish is granted. ”I wish that my cat here were the most handsome guy in the […]

This old couple is ready to go to sleep so the old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor. The old man asks, “Why are you going to sleep on the floor?” The old woman says, “Because I want to feel something hard for a change.”

It’s a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! “Who’s been eating my porridge?” he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his […]

How many Whigs does it take to light an oil lamp? One, and that person shall be President Andrew Jackson, hero of the Battle of New Orleans and Friend to the Common Man!

Redneck Jokes 801-900 Other Redneck Jokes Redneck Jokes 1 to 100 Redneck Jokes 101 to 200 Redneck Jokes 201 to 300 Redneck Jokes 301 to 400 Redneck Jokes 401 to 500 Redneck Jokes 501 to 600 Redneck Jokes 601 to 700 Redneck Jokes 701 to 800 Redneck Jokes 801 to 900 Redneck Joke 801 You […]

Two goldfish were in their tank. One turns to the other and says, ‘You man the guns, I’ll drive.’

Rowing Your Boat Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said “You know – it’s blondes like that that give us a bad name!” To this, the other […]

Yo Daddy Joke 1 My friends daddy is so dumb my friend was kicking a cardboard box down the street he said were getting evicted. Yo Daddy Joke 2 Yo daddy dick so lil if your mom was an ant she still couldn’t play with it. Yo Daddy Joke 3 Yo daddy dick so small […]

Not looking for Funny BNP Jokes, try the BNP Policies Debate for discussing the BNP. British National Party Joke 1 A former BNP security officer has been fined for naming 12,000 members on the Internet. Like many of you, I’m also shitting myself that my names popped up British National Party Joke 2 A member […]