The definition of camping: where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person!
Funny Camping Jokes
Funny Camping Joke 1
A Summer book never written: “Camping is So Inexpensive” by Seymour Foreles.
Funny Camping Joke 2
An adventurer was paddling on a river during a winter camping trip. Feeling cold, he lit a fire in his boat, only to discover that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too!
Funny Camping Joke 3
During a camping trip one boy scout was on one side of the river and there was another boy scout on the other side of the river.
One boy scout yells to the other boy scout, “How do you get to the other side?”
The other boy scout yells back, “You are on the other side!”
Funny Camping Joke 4
First dog: Where do fleas go camping?
Second dog: Search me!
Funny Camping Joke 5
How do you make a one armed man fall out of a tree?
Wave.
Funny Camping Joke 6
Teacher: “If I gave you 2 tents and another 2 tents and another 2, how many would you have?”
Student: “Seven tents.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two tents, and another two tents and another two, how many would you have?”
Student: “Seven tents.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Student: “Six apples.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two tents, and another two tents and another two, how many would you have?”
Student: “Seven tents!”
Teacher: “Sally, where in the heck do you get seven tents from?”
Student: “I already own a tent!”
Funny Camping Joke 7
Three campers were walking in the woods and came upon tracks. The first one said, “Look, it’s deer tracks.”
The second one said, “No, it’s wolf tracks.” and before the third one could answer, they got hit by a train.
Funny Camping Joke 8
What do math teachers use to light a campfire when school’s out?
Arithma-sticks.
Funny Camping Joke 9
What do you call a camper without a nose or a body?
Nobodynose.
Funny Camping Joke 10
Where do goldfish go camping?
Around the globe!
Funny Camping Joke 11
While sitting around a campfire, a boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?”
“That’s disgusting. Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”
“Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”
Funny Camping Joke 12
Why are people who go camping on April 1st always tired?
Because they just finished a 31 day March!
Funny Camping Joke 13
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
To make up for his miserable experience camping during the summer.
Funny Camping Joke 14
Why does Humpty Dumpty love camping autumn?
Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Funny Camping Joke 15
The famous detective Sherlock Holmes and his best friend and partner Dr. Watson decide to take a break from their latest crime-solving efforts and go camping.
After setting up camp and settling down into their sleeping bags, they drift off to sleep.
Sometime later, Sherlock asks: “Watson, are you awake?”
“Yes,” he says.
“Look up at the stars and tell me: What can you deduce from them?” Sherlock asks.
Watson thinks for some time before responding: “While someone may be able to number them, the stars are, for all intents and purposes, countless. Given the sheer number of them, it is reasonable to assume that some are suns circled by planets, some of which may be very like our own. There is a chance, however small, that there is life on at least one of those, meaning that we are not alone in the universe.”
Holmes sighs: “Watson, you dolt. Someone’s taken our tent!”
Camping Jokes for Kids
Kids Camping Joke 1
A 12-year-old boy goes camping for the first time in the woods with his father. After they have set up camp he asks his dad where he can go to the toilet.
“That’s the beauty of camping in the woods,” the father replies, “You can go to the toilet wherever you want.”
After five minutes or so, the young lad wanders back to the campfire.
“So, where did you go to the toilet then, son?” The father asks.
“In your tent,” the boy replies.
Kids Camping Joke 2
After twelve years of carrying books to school, you’re well prepared for a career in backpacking.
Kids Camping Joke 3
At a local camping site, what did the lake say to the sailboat?
Nothing it just waved.
Kids Camping Joke 4
Built an emergency shelter out of cereal boxes.
Called it my snap, crackle, and pop-up tent
Kids Camping Joke 5
Can a frog jump higher than the average tent?
Of course, tents can’t jump.
Kids Camping Joke 6
Did you hear about the camper who broke his left leg and left arm?
He’s all right now.
Kids Camping Joke 7
Did you hear about the kidnapping in the woods?
It’s okay. He woke up.
Kids Camping Joke 8
How do trees access the Internet?
They log in.
Kids Camping Joke 9
How do you avoid getting swallowed by a river while kayaking?
Stay away from the river mouth.
Kids Camping Joke 10
How do you keep your sleeping bag from getting stretched out?
Don’t sleep too long in it!
Kids Camping Joke 11
I asked my llama if his cousin wanted to go camping?
He said alpaca tent!
Kids Camping Joke 12
I wasn’t sure about a mountain climbing and camping trip, but a friend roped me into it.
Kids Camping Joke 13
I went to buy a camouflage tent the other day for a camping vacation, but I couldn’t find any.
Kids Camping Joke 14
If you have 5 tents in one hand and 3 sleeping bags in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
Kids Camping Joke 15
Teacher: What’s gray, has four legs and a trunk?
Student: An elephant.
Teacher: No, a mouse going camping.
Camping Puns
Camping Pun 1
A bear walks into a restaurant and says, “I’d like a water ……………. and some of those peanuts.”
The server says, “Sure, but why the big paws?”
Camping Pun 2
It only costs $5 to get into our local aquarium, as long as you’re camping, or dressed as a dolphin, so, to all in tents and porpoises, it’s free!
Camping Pun 3
Teacher: Where did your sister go camping?
Student: Alaska.
Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself.
Camping Pun 4
What did one avalanche survivor say to the other avalanche survivor?
Dude, that all that snow was in tents!
Camping Pun 5
What did the beaver say to the tree?
“It’s been nice gnawing you!”
Camping Pun 6
What did the bread do when it went camping?
It loafed around.
Camping Pun 7
What did the pine trees wear to the lake?
Swimming trunks!
Camping Pun 8
What is a tree’s favorite drink?
Root beer.
Camping Pun 9
What is the color of the wind?
Blew.
Camping Pun 10
What’s the best day to go to the camping at the beach?
Sunday!
Camping Pun 11
When camping in the woods, how can you tell if a tree is a dogwood?
By its bark.
Camping Pun 12
Where did the sheep go to camping?
The Baa-hamas!
Camping Pun 13
Where do ants go camping?
Frants
Camping Pun 14
Where do cows go camping?
Moo York.
Camping Pun 15
Where do eggs go camping?
New Yolk City!
Camping Pun 16
Where does a canoe go when it’s sick?
To the DOCK!
Camping Pun 17
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the lake’s bottom.
Camping Pun 18
Why is a river rich?
Because it has two banks.
Camping Pun 19
What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
Swimming trunks.
Camping Pun 20
Why do trees have so many friends?
They branch out.
RV Jokes
RV Joke 1
“How many RVers does it take to change a lightbulb?”
“Only one, the others are dealing with their gray water issues.”
RV Joke 2
An RV is the best investment you can make in wheel estate!
RV Joke 3
Full-Time RVers never die! They just smell that way!
RV Joke 4
God gave us shins so we can find the trailer hitch in the dark!
RV Joke 5
If you tailgate our campervan, we will flush!
RV Joke 6
It was late in the day when a fully loaded RV pulled into the only remaining camp space.
As soon as it stopped, the RV doors flew open and four children jumped out. They began to unload gear and worked feverishly to set up the tent.
Next, the boys ran to gather firewood while the girls and their mother set up the camp kitchen area.
The camper in the space next to them marvelled to the children’s father, “I’ve never seen such teamwork nor a camp that was ready so quickly. I’m impressed.”
The father turned to the neighbour and nodded sagely. “I have a system,” he said. “No one goes to the bathroom before the camp is set up.”
RV Joke 7
RV Having Fun Yet?
RV Joke 8
RVers don’t have lawn decorations, they have Mobile Gnomes
RV Joke 9
Sorry for what I said while I was trying to park the camper, geometry is hard, backward geometry is even harder!
RV Joke 10
The best part about living in an RV?
It’s harder for relatives to drop in for a visit.
RV Joke 11
Why is the RV so obedient?
Because it goes where it’s towed to!
Campsite Jokes
Campsite Joke 1
A husband and wife were driving through the mountains. As they approached their campsite, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They continued to argue back and forth as they stopped for lunch.
At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?”
She leaned over the counter and said, “Burrr-gerrr Kiiing.”
Campsite Joke 2
A local farmer had opened up his land to campers.
When I arrived, he helped me into the field with a wooden step over the fence.
I told him that liked his stile.
Campsite Joke 3
After a night of camping the Lone Ranger woke to see his tent blown away by a tornado. He declared, “Tonto, we’re not in canvas anymore.”
Campsite Joke 4
Did you hear about the Halloween themed camping trip?
It was in tents!
Campsite Joke 5
I had planned to show a friend the inside of my camping set up, but in the end he only got to see the outside.
When he looked disappointed I said sorry, that was not my in-tent
Campsite Joke 6
I slept like a log last night.
I woke up on the campfire…
Campsite Joke 7
If you ever get cold while camping, just stand in the corner of a tent for a while. They’re normally around 90 degrees.
Campsite Joke 8
My wife says “camping is a tradition in her family”.
It was a tradition in every family until we invented houses!
Campsite Joke 9
The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.
Campsite Joke 10
The seaside camping trip was so boring that one day the tide went out and never came back.
Campsite Joke 11
Two new deer hunters decided to separate to increases their chances.
“What if we get lost?” Says one of them.
“Fire three times up in the air, every hour on the hour,” says the other, “I saw it on TV.”
Sure enough, one of the hunters gets lost, so he fires three times up into the air every hour on the hour.
The next day the other hunter finds his friend with the help of the Forest Ranger. “Why didn’t you do what I said?” asked the hunter.
“I did! I fired three times up into the air every hour on the hour, until I ran out of arrows.”
Campsite Joke 12
Two skunks observed a deer hunter sneaking through the woods with a bow. “I hope he’s not going to get at us,” said one skunk.
The second skunk bowed his head and said, “Let us spray.”
Campsite Joke 13
After lunch, my spouse asked me to clear the picnic table.
I needed a running start, but I made it.
Campsite Joke 14
You can’t run through a campsite. You can only ran, because it’s past tents.
Campsite Joke 15
While eating next to a fire on their annual camping trip, a kid looks at his dad and says “Dad, how do you prepare the fish we’re eating?”
The Dad replies, “Nothing special. I just say ‘Sorry but I gotta eat.'”
Campsite Joke 16
Why did the campsite warden quit his job?
Because it was always in tents!
Bear Camping Jokes
Bear Camping Joke 1
1st Hunter: “Why do bears wear red nail polish?”
2nd Hunter: “I don’t know, why?”
1st Hunter: “To hide in oak trees.”
2nd Hunter: “But I’ve never seen a bear in an oak tree.”
1st Hunter: “See, it works.”
Bear Camping Joke 2
A child goes to his father and asks, “Father, how do parents think of names for their children?”
The father answers, “Well, son, the night before the mother gives birth, the father goes into the woods and camps for the night. When he wakes the following morning, the first thing he sees is what he names his child, which is why your sister is named Soaring Eagle. Why do you ask, Bear Poop?”
Bear Camping Joke 3
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at their job.
They each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it to their faith.
Later they get together.
The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first communion.”
“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast.
“Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”
Bear Camping Joke 4
I went on a camping trip with my wife, kids, and mother-in-law. At night, my wife awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to me, she insisted on trying to find her mother. I picked up my rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her.
In a clearing not far from the camp, we came upon a chilling sight, the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large bear stood facing her.
My wife cried, “What are we going to do?” “Nothing,” I said. “The bear got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.”
Bear Camping Joke 5
Two guys are walking through a national park on a camping trip and they come across a bear that has not eaten for days.
The bear sees the two men, and starts chasing them.
They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, “Please turn this bear into a Christian, Lord.”
He looks to see if the bear is still chasing and he sees the bear on its knees.
Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the bear.
As he comes closer to the bear, he hears the bear saying a prayer: “Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive.”
Bear Camping Joke 6
Two hikers making their way through bear country come around a corner to spot their worst fear: a grizzly! Without pausing a fraction of a second, one of the hikers takes off running, prompting the bear to charge.
Forced into action, the second hiker turns and sprints after the first. “What were you thinking?” he shouts. “You’re not supposed to run in a situation like this. You can’t outrun a bear!”
“I don’t have to outrun the bear,” his friend shouts back over his shoulder. “I just have to outrun you.”
Bear Camping Joke 7
Two lawyers on a camping trip in the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on.
The second lawyer looked at him and said, “You’re crazy! You’ll never be able to out run that bear!”
“I don’t have to,” the first lawyer replied. “I only have to outrun you.”
Bear Camping Joke 8
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear
Bear Camping Joke 9
Yo mamas so fat the bears have to hide their food from her when she goes camping.
Bear Camping Joke 10
What do bears call campers in sleeping bags?
Soft Tacos.
Funny Camping Tips
Funny Camping Tip
A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm.
A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes.
Funny Camping Tip
A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish.
A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.
Funny Camping Tip
A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.
Funny Camping Tip
Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.
Funny Camping Tip
In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your underwear.
Funny Camping Tip
Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping.
Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.
Funny Camping Tip
The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges.
Steer clear of those named for landfills.
Funny Camping Tip
When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt.
It gives you something to wipe your nose on.
Bad Camping Jokes
Bad Camping Joke 1
A dog goes into a camping store and buys a tent. The cashier says, “You don’t see a dog in here buying a tent very often.”
The dog says, “At these prices, I’m not surprised.”
Bad Camping Joke 2
A young camper is swimming in a river. A man walks up and asks him, “What are you doing in there?”
He says, “I’m washing my clothes.”
The man asks, “Why don’t you use a washing machine?”
The camper says, “I tried that, but I got too dizzy.”
Bad Camping Joke 3
All joking aside, what should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Bad Camping Joke 4
Did you hear about the pair of honey-making insects that fell in love on a camping trip?
It was tent two bee.
Bad Camping Joke 5
How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut.
Bad Camping Joke 6
How many hikers does it take to hike Mount Everest?
50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, “man, I could do that!”
Bad Camping Joke 7
I went bivvy bagging in a bowl of chicken korma
It was mild camping,
Bad Camping Joke 8
If you’ve got four tents, eight sleeping bags and six camping chairs in your wheelbarrow, what have you got?
A big wheel-barrow.
Bad Camping Joke 9
Teacher: Please use the words “letter carrier” in a sentence.
Student: Yes, ma’am. “My dad said that after seeing how many things my sister was bringing on the camping trip, he would rather letter carrier own luggage.”
Bad Camping Joke 10
What camping destination makes a pet bird sing for joy?
The Canary Islands!
Bad Camping Joke 1
What do clouds do when they become rich?
They make it rain!
Bad Camping Joke 12
What do cows wear camping in Hawaii?
Moo Moo’s.
Bad Camping Joke 13
What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would squash you?
A pool table.
Bad Camping Joke 14
What’s another name for a sleeping bag?
A nap sack.
Bad Camping Joke 15
When the man said that he was pitching me his business, I didn’t realise he was selling his only tent
Bad Camping Joke 16
Where did Tarzan go camping?
Hollywood and Vine.
Bad Camping Joke 17
Which island of the coast of Africa does Dale Ernhart Jr. like to go camping?
MadaNASCAR!
Bad Camping Joke 18
Why are hiking shops so diverse?
Because they employ people from all walks of life.
Bad Camping Joke 19
Why can’t you see a Wolf hiding in a tree?
Because he’s really good at it.
Bad Camping Joke 20
Why did the robot go camping?
He needed to recharge his batteries.
Bad Camping Joke 21
Why didn’t the elephant buy a suitcase for his camping trip?
Because he already had a trunk!
Bad Camping Joke 22
Why don’t mummies go on camping?
They’re afraid to relax and unwind!
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