Funny Accounting Jokes
Funny Accounting Joke 1
What’s an extroverted accountant?
One who looks at your shoes while he’s talking to you instead of his own.
Funny Accounting Joke 2
Wife to husband as they watch their young son playing: “He’s such a sensitive child. Let’s wait until he’s older before we tell him you’re an accountant.”
Funny Accounting Joke 3
A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch.
“I need someone with an accounting degree,” says the man, “but mainly I’m looking for someone to do my worrying for me.”
“How do you mean?” says the accountant.
“I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters.”
“OK,” says the accountant. “How much are you offering?”
“You can start on seventy-five thousand,” says the owner.
“Seventy-five thousand dollars. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?”
“That,” says the man, “is your first worry.”
Funny Accounting Joke 4
A businessman hires a private detective to find a missing accountant.
The detective tells him that he needs a description and asks a few questions. “Was he tall or was he short?”
The businessman replies, “Both!”
Funny Accounting Joke 5
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Want to hear an accountant joke?”
The guy next to him replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I’m 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and I’m an accountant. And the guy sitting next to me is 6 2″ tall, 225 pounds, and he’s an accountant. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?”
The first guy says, “No, I don’t want to have to explain it twice.”
Funny Accounting Joke 6
Why accountants don’t read novels?
Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
Funny Accounting Joke 7
The accountant had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time.
The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach.
Suddenly she piped up, “Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long-term capital gain?”
Funny Accounting Joke 8
An accountant visited the Natural History museum. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor: “This dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old”.
“Where did you get this exact information?”
“I was here ten months ago, and the guide told me that the dinosaur is two billion years old.”
Funny Accounting Joke 9
Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc.
While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two’s hand. Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, “What is this?” to which accountant number one replies, “it’s that $50 I owe you.”
Funny Accounting Joke 10
What is a Budget?
An orderly system for living beyond your means.
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