Funny Apple Jokes
Funny Apple Jokes 1
What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple?
Worm your way out of that one, then!
Funny Apple Jokes 2
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
Funny Apple Jokes 3
Why did Eve want to move to New York?
She fell for the Big Apple!
Funny Apple Jokes 4
What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?
He brought it to school and said, An Ape-lle for the teacher!
Funny Apple Jokes 5
If it took six pigs two hours to eat the apples in the orchard, how many hours would it take three pigs?
None, because the six pigs have already eaten them all.
Funny Apple Jokes 6
Two boys were eating a snack lunch in the school yard.
One had an apple and the other said, “Watch out for worms won’t you!”
The first one replied, “Why should I? They can watch out for themselves.”
Jokes About Apples 1
How do you get the most apples at Halloween?
Take a snorkel.
Jokes About Apples 2
Once upon a time there were five apples Which was the cowboy?
None – because they were all redskins.
Jokes About Apples 3
Dad, do you like baked apples?
Yes son, why?
The orchard’s on fire.
Jokes About Apples 4
A Pittsburgh steel worker was driving through northern California’s apple country.
He stopped at an orchard and asked the owner, “How much are yer apples?”
“All you can pick for one dollar,” said the rancher.
“Okay,” said the Pennsylvanian.
“I ll take two dollars worth.”
Jokes About Apples 5
After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a worker’s boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers.
Angrily she asked, “If you had 4 apples and I asked for one, how many would you have left?”
Quickly he replied, “If it was you who asked, I’d still have 4 apples.”
Jokes About Apples 6
Why don’t apples smile when you go bobbing?
Because they’re crab apples!
Apple Jokes 1
How do you make an apple turnover?
Push it down hill.
Apple Jokes 2
What kind of apple has a short temper?
A crab apple.
Apple Jokes 3
What is the left side of an apple?
The part that you don’t eat.
Apple Jokes 4
What kind of apple isn’t an apple?
Apple Jokes 5
Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?
Someone told him he should get an apple Mac
Apple Jokes For Kids
Apple Jokes For Kids 1
Why didn’t the two worms go into Noah’s ark in an apple?
Because everyone had to go in pairs!
Apple Jokes For Kids 2
What lives in apples and is an avid reader?
A bookworm !
Apple Jokes For Kids 3
First apple: You look down in the dumps. What’s eating you?
Second apple: Worms, I think.
Apple Jokes For Kids 4
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple !
Apple Jokes For Kids 5
What reads and lives in an apple?
An Apple A Day Jokes
An Apple A Day Jokes 1
Fred came rushing in to his Dad.
“Dad!” he puffed, “is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?”
“That’s what they say,” said his Dad.
“Well, give me an apple quick?
I’ve just broken the doctor’s window!”
An Apple A Day Jokes 2
How does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
When you take careful aim.
An Apple A Day Jokes 3
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do?
Keeps everyone away.
Apple Pie Jokes
Apple Pie Jokes 1
School lunches are not generally popular with those that have to eat them, and sometimes with good reason.
“What kind of pie do you call this ?” asked one schoolboy indignantly.
“What’s it taste of?” asked the cook.
“Then it’s apple pie, the plum pie tastes of soap.”
Apple Pie Jokes 2
What did the apple say to the apple pie?
“You’ve got some crust.”
Apple Pie Jokes 3
What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie?
Apple Pie Jokes 4
What’s the difference between a worm and an apple?
Have you ever tried worm pie?
Best Apple Jokes
Best Apple Jokes 1
The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once a woman began screaming.
“You’ve got to help me! There’s a giant gray thing in my yard, and it’s pulling apples off the tree with its tail!”
“What’s he doing with the apples?” the sergeant asked.
“If I told you,” the woman cried, “you wouldn’t believe me!”
Best Apple Jokes 2
What is red and goes putt, putt, putt?
An outboard apple.
Best Apple Jokes 3
What did the worm want to do when he grew up?
He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).
Best Apple Jokes 4
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can’t do?
It can look round.
Best Apple Jokes 5
How do you make an apple puff?
Chase it round the garden