Gorilla Joke 1
A man walks outside to his car for work, when he notices a gorilla in his tree. He rushs to his phone book and finds the animal control number, calls and asks them to send over someone Who’s a gorilla expert. When the man arrives, he is carrying a shotgun, a chihuahua and a pair of handcuffs. The man says, What are all of those for? The animal control officer says, I ll climb up in the tree, knock the gorilla down, the dog will bite him in the nuts and you must slap the handcuffs on his wrists. The man asks,
Gorilla Joke 2
Q: What’s black and dangerous and lives in a tree? A: A gorilla with a machine gun.
Gorilla Joke 3
Q: Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree ? A: Because it was dead.
Gorilla Joke 4
Q: Why are gorillas so noisy? A: They were raised in a zoo!
Gorilla Joke 5
Q: What do you get when you put an experimental monkey in a blender? A: Rhesus Pieces.
Gorilla Joke 6
Q. Why does Rilla get mad when he’s in a race? A. Because all his friends shout, “GO-RILLA!”
Gorilla Joke 7
Do you know a favourite expression used by the Gorillas? Apesy daisy!
Gorilla Joke 8
Do Apes kiss? Yes, but never on the first date!
Gorilla Joke 9
How come the giant Ape climbed up the side of the skyscraper? The elevator was broken!
Gorilla Joke 10
How did a Gorilla come to be with Washington at Valley Forge? He had seen a sign saying, Uncle Simian Wants You!
Gorilla Joke 11
How did Gertie Gorilla make the Playboy Calendar? She was Miss Ape-ril!
Gorilla Joke 12
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Gorilla Joke 13
How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching? He barked g-r-r-r-illa!
Gorilla Joke 14
How did the obscene telephone caller get attacked by the Gorilla? He made a mistake and dialled a preyer!
Gorilla Joke 15
How do we know that Apes are like fish after a rainstorm? They ll both bite at anything!
Gorilla Joke 16
How do you make a Gorilla float? Two scoops of ice cream, some club soda and a very tasty Gorilla!
Gorilla Joke 17
How do you make a Gorilla laugh? Tell it an elephant joke!
Gorilla Joke 18
How do you make a Gorilla stew? You keep it waiting for three hours!
Gorilla Joke 19
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Gorilla Joke 20
How do you stop a thundering herd of Apes? Hold up your arm and say Go back, you didn’t say May I?
Gorilla Joke 21
How does a Gorilla become another animal? When a Mafia don hires a big Gorilla to be his bodyguard and the big Ape goes to the cops and turns into a stool pigeon!
Gorilla Joke 22
If George Raft’s wife gave birth to twin Gorillas, would they be the Apes of Raft?
Gorilla Joke 23
If you put 30 female Apes and 30 male Apes in a bedroom, what do you have? A very large bedroom.
Gorilla Joke 24
If you throw a great Ape into one of the Great Lakes, what will it become? Wet!
Gorilla Joke 25
What did George Washington have to do with Gorillas? As little as possible, dummy!
Gorilla Joke 26
What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming? Paul, stop monkeying around!
Gorilla Joke 27
What did the Gorilla call his first wife? His prime-mate!
Gorilla Joke 28
What did the Gorilla do when he saw the sign, Clean Washroom ? He cleaned it!
Gorilla Joke 29
What did the great Ape say as he plummeted from the skyscraper? Listen baby, I think I m falling for you!
Gorilla Joke 30
What did the great Ape shout to the pilots who tried to shoot him off the skyscraper? Listen, hotshots, don’t monkey around with me!
Gorilla Joke 31
What do they feed a gorilla when he goes to Paris? Ape Suzettes!
Gorilla Joke 32
What do you feed a 600 pound Gorilla? Anything it wants!
Gorilla Joke 33
What does a Gorilla attorney study? The Law of the jungle!
Gorilla Joke 34
What does a Gorilla learn first in school? The Apey-cees!
Gorilla Joke 35
What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl? I can’t help it – she brings out the beast in me!
Gorilla Joke 36
What gives a gorilla good taste? Four years in an Ivy League school!
Gorilla Joke 37
What happened when the Ape won the door prize? He didn’t take it – he already had a door!
Gorilla Joke 38
What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla? Nobody is sure, but if it opened its mouth to speak, you d listen!
Gorilla Joke 39
What happens if you cross an Ape with an octopus? You get a fur coat with lots of sleeves!
Gorilla Joke 40
What happens when you throw one banana to two hungry Apes? A banana split!
Gorilla Joke 41
What is the Ape monster’s name? Godzilla Gorilla!
Gorilla Joke 42
What political party entices most Gorillas? The Treepublican Party!
Gorilla Joke 43
What would happen if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with a Saint Bernard? It would drink the brandy it would carry and act like a big Gorilla!
Gorilla Joke 44
What’s black, brown and white, black, brown and white, brown and white, etc.? A Gorilla riding down a snowbank!
Gorilla Joke 45
What’s black, hairy, and writes under water? A ball-point gorilla!
Gorilla Joke 46
What’s hairy and flies through the air? Jonathan Livingstone Gorilla!
Gorilla Joke 47
When did the Gorillas start to picket the cookie factory? The day they started to manufacture animal crackers!
Gorilla Joke 48
When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree, where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land? Nearby – the Ape-lle doesn’t fall far from the tree!
Gorilla Joke 49
Where did the Gorilla play baseball? In the bush leagues,of course!
Gorilla Joke 50
Which author do the Gorillas love most? Joh Steinbeck – who wrote The Apes of Wrath!
Gorilla Joke 51
Which book makes prudish Gorillas blush? The Naked Ape!
Gorilla Joke 52
Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed by a Gorilla jumping off a tall building? Fall-adelphia!
Gorilla Joke 53
Which drink makes a Gorilla feel tipsy? An ape-ricot sour!
Gorilla Joke 54
Which is the favourite Gorilla proverb? A fiend in need is a fiend indeed!
Gorilla Joke 55
Which operetta make the Gorilla crack up? Nutty Marietta!
Gorilla Joke 56
Which song title makes an Ape heartsick? Gorilla My Dreams!
Gorilla Joke 57
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
Gorilla Joke 58
Which two names figure prominently in every Ape’s diet? Ben/Anna!
Gorilla Joke 59
Which wrestler do the Gorillas admire most? Gorilla Monsoon – he knows the ropes!
Gorilla Joke 60
Who is the Gorillas favourite playwright? Eugene O Neill – who wrote The Hairy Ape!
Gorilla Joke 61
Who is the Gorillas favourite President of recent years? Hairy Truman!
Gorilla Joke 62
Why are Gorillas underpaid? They re willing to work peanuts!
Gorilla Joke 63
Why couldn’t the Gorilla pitcher make it in the major leagues? His balk was worse than his bite!
Gorilla Joke 64
Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two? Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!
Gorilla Joke 65
Why did the actor fire his Gorilla agent? The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite!
Gorilla Joke 66
Why did the Ape jump off the building? He wanted to show the world the stuff he was made of!
Gorilla Joke 67
Why did the girl Gorilla, engaged to the invisible man, call off the wedding? Because in the last analysis she just couldn’t see it!
Gorilla Joke 68
Why did the Gorilla enlist in the ragged continental army? To avoid the draft!
Gorilla Joke 69
Why did the Gorilla fail English? He had little Ape-titude!
Gorilla Joke 70
Why did the Gorilla visit Italy? An advertisement’s headline enticed him – See Ape-les and die!
Gorilla Joke 71
Why do apes climb to the tops of buildings? The elevator men are on strike!
Gorilla Joke 72
Why do Apes like tall buildings? They want to climb the heights of the business world!
Gorilla Joke 73
Why do Apes love to go to school in bad neighbourhoods? They like any jungle – even a blackboard jungle!
Gorilla Joke 74
Why do the Gorillas like Jimmy Carter? They don’t really know – but they re NUTS about him!
Gorilla Joke 75
Why do waiters like Gorillas better than flies? Did you ever hear a customer complain Waiter, there’s a Gorilla in my soup!
Gorilla Joke 76
Why should you always refuse to lend an Ape money? It’s dangerous to let him put the bite on you!
Gorilla Joke 77
Why do primates do so well in show biz? Put any Ape in the spotlight – and monkeyshines!
Gorilla Joke 78
A gorilla was walking through the jungle when he came across a deer eating grass in a clearing. The gorilla roared, Who is the king of the jungle? and the deer replied, Oh, you are, Master. The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. The gorilla roared, Who is the king of the jungle? and the zebra replied, Oh, you are, Master. The gorilla walked off pleased. Then he came across an elephant. Who is the king of the jungle? he roared. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him. The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said,
Gorilla Joke 79
Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils? A: They have big fingers.
Gorilla Joke 80
Q. Why did the ape run around with a piece of raw meat on his head? A. He thought he was a gorilla. (griller)!