Insect Joke 1
What goes hum-choo, hum choo? A bee with a cold !
Insect Joke 2
What is a bee’s favourite classical music composer ? Bee-thoven !
Insect Joke 3
What does a queen bee do when she burps ? Issues a royal pardon !
Insect Joke 4
Where would you put an injured insect ? In an antbulance !
Insect Joke 5
What do bees do if they want to use public transport ? Wait at a buzz stop !
Insect Joke 6
What do you call a bee Who’s had a spell put on him ? He’s bee-witched !
Insect Joke 7
Q: What kind of suit does a bee wear to work? A: A buzzness suit!
Insect Joke 8
What has four wheels and flies ? A rubbish bin !
Insect Joke 9
What lives in gum trees ? Stick insects !
Insect Joke 10
What is the biggest ant in the world ? An elephant !
Insect Joke 11
What’s a bee-line ? The shortest distance between two buzz-stops !
Insect Joke 12
First Caribou: What do you call a bee that can’t make up his mind? Second Caribou: A maybee.
Insect Joke 13
Q: What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies? – A: Should we walk home or take a dog?
Insect Joke 14
What happened to the man who turned into an insect ? He just beetled off !
Insect Joke 15
What do you get when you cross a bell with a bee? A humdinger.
Insect Joke 16
One woodworm met another. “How’s life?” she asked. “Oh, same as usual,” he replied, “boring.”
Insect Joke 17
What is the difference between an elephant and a flea? An elephant can have fleas but a flea can’t have elephants !
Insect Joke 18
What did the bee say to the naughty bee ? Bee-hive yourself !
Insect Joke 19
Who writes books for little bees ? Bee-trix Potter !
Insect Joke 20
Why did the bee started talking poetry ? He was waxing lyrical !
Insect Joke 21
What’s more dangerous than being with a fool ? Fooling with a bee !
Insect Joke 22
What’s black, yellow and covered in blackberries ? A bramble bee !
Insect Joke 23
How does a queen bee get around her hive ? She’s throne !
Insect Joke 24
First Caribou: Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts? Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.
Insect Joke 25
First Caribou: Which bug gobbles up trash? Second Caribou: The litterbug.
Insect Joke 26
How do we know that insects are so clever ? Because they always know when your eating outside !
Insect Joke 27
Can bees fly in the rain ? Not without their little yellow jackets !
Insect Joke 28
What buzzes, is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of the sea ? A bee in a submarine !
Insect Joke 29
Why do bees hum ? Because they’ve forgotten the words !
Insect Joke 30
What kind of bees hum and drop things ? A fumble bee !
Insect Joke 31
What did the bee say to the flower ? Hello honey !
Insect Joke 32
What’s a bees favourite flower ? A bee-gonias !
Insect Joke 33
What did the confused bee say ? To bee or not to bee !
Insect Joke 34
What is black and yellow and buzzes along at 30,000 feet ? A bee is an aeroplane !
Insect Joke 35
What are the cleverest bees ? Spelling bees !
Insect Joke 36
What bee is good for your health ? Vitamin bee !
Insect Joke 37
What goes zzub, zzub ? A bee flying backwards !
Insect Joke 38
Why do bees buzz ? Because they can’t whistle !
Insect Joke 39
What kind of bee can’t be understood ? A mumble bee !
Insect Joke 40
What does a bee get at McDonalds ? A humburger !
Insect Joke 41
Who is a bee’s favourite painter ? Pablo Beecasso !
Insect Joke 42
What did the spider say to the bee ? Your honey or your life !
Insect Joke 43
What is a baby bee ? A little humbug !
Insect Joke 44
What is the bees favourite film ? The Sting !
Insect Joke 45
Who is the bees favourite singer ? Sting !
Insect Joke 46
Who is the bees favourite pop group ? The bee gees !
Insect Joke 47
What did the bee to the other bee in summer ? Swarm here isn’t it !
Insect Joke 48
Where do bees keep their money ? In a honey box !
Insect Joke 49
What TV station do bees watch ? Bee bee c one!
Insect Joke 50
What’s a bees favourite novel ? The Great Gats-bee !
Insect Joke 51
What do you get if you cross a bee with a door bell? A hum dinger !
Insect Joke 52
How many bees do you need in a bee choir ? A humdred !
Insect Joke 53
What does the bee Santa Claus say ? Ho hum hum !
Insect Joke 54
Why did the bees go on strike ? Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers !
Insect Joke 55
Why do bees have sticky hair ? Beacuse of the honey combs !
Insect Joke 56
Where do bees go on holiday ? Stingapore !
Insect Joke 57
What do bees chew ? Bumble gum !
Insect Joke 58
Why did the queen bee kick out all of the other bees ? Because they kept droning on and on !
Insect Joke 59
What does a bee say before it stings you ? This is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you !
Insect Joke 60
What kind of bee can keep an aeroplane dry ? An aero-drone !
Insect Joke 61
What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea ? Bugs Bunny !
Insect Joke 62
How do you start an insect race ? One, two, flea – go
Insect Joke 63
What is the difference between a flea and a wolf ? One prowls on the hairy and the other howls on the prairie !
Insect Joke 64
What to you call a Russian flea ? A Moscow-ito !
Insect Joke 65
How do you find where a flea has bitten you ? Start from scratch !
Insect Joke 66
Who rode a dog and was a confederate general during the American Civil War ? Robert E Flea !
Insect Joke 67
Two fleas where running across the top of a cereal packet ? “Why are we running so fast ?” said one Because it says “Tear along the dotted line”
Insect Joke 68
What did one flea say to the other after a night out ? Shall we walk home or take a dog ?
Insect Joke 69
What is a flea’s favourite book ? The itch-hikers guide to the galaxy !
Insect Joke 70
What is the most faithful insect ? A flea, once they find someone they like they stick to them !
Insect Joke 71
What insect runs away from everything ? A flee !
Insect Joke 72
What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor ? Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go !
Insect Joke 73
How to fleas travel ? Itch hiking !
Insect Joke 74
Why did the firefly keep stealing things ? What goes “snap, crackle and pop” ? A firefly with a short circuit !
Insect Joke 75
Which fly makes films ? Stephen Speilbug !
Insect Joke 76
What goes “snap, crackle and pop” ? A firefly with a short circuit !
Insect Joke 77
Why did the fly fly ?
Insect Joke 78
Why were the flies playing football in saucer ? They where playing for the cup !
Insect Joke 79
How do fireflies start a race ? Ready steady glow !
Insect Joke 80
If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know which one is the American Football player ? The one in the sugar bowl !
Insect Joke 81
What did one firefly say to the other ? Got to glow now !
Insect Joke 82
What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect ? The Masked-quito !
Insect Joke 83
What has antlers and sucks blood ? A moose-quito !
Insect Joke 84
Why did the mosquito go to the dentist ? To improve his bite !
Insect Joke 85
What is a mosquito’s favourite sport ? Skin-diving !
Insect Joke 86
How do you know if you have a tough mosquito ? You slap him and he slaps you back !
Insect Joke 87
What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly ? Try sewing buttons on a mosquito !
Insect Joke 88
What is the most religious insect ? A mosque-ito !
Insect Joke 89
What has 6 legs, bits and talks in code ? A morese-quito !
Insect Joke 90
Why are mosquitos religious ? They prey on you !
Insect Joke 91
What do insects learn at school ? Mothmatics !
Insect Joke 92
How do you make a butterfly ? Flick it out of the butter dish with a knife !
Insect Joke 93
What insect lives on nothing ? A moth, because it eats holes
Insect Joke 94
What do you get if you cross a firefly and a moth ? An insect who can find its way around a dark wardrobe !
Insect Joke 95
How do stones stop moths eating your clothes ? Because rolling stones gather no moths !
Insect Joke 96
Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ? He wanted to see the floor show !
Insect Joke 97
What’s the biggest moth in the world ? A mammoth !
Insect Joke 98
Why was the moth so unpopular ? He kept picking holes in everything !
Insect Joke 99
What do you call a grasshopper with no legs ? A grasshover !
Insect Joke 100
What goes 99-clonk, 99-clonk, 99-clonk ? A centipede with a wooden leg !
Insect Joke 101
Why was the centipede dropped from the insect football team ? He took too long to put his boots on !
Insect Joke 102
What is worse than an alligator with toothache ? A centipede with athlete’s foot !
Insect Joke 103
What has 50 legs but cant walk ? Half a centipede !
Insect Joke 104
Why was the centipede late ? Because he was playing “This little Piggy” with his baby brother !
Insect Joke 105
What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken ? Enough drumsticks to feed an army !
Insect Joke 106
What did one centipede say to the other centipede ? You’ve got a lovely pair of legs, You’ve got a lovely pair of legs,You’ve got a lovely pair of legs,You’ve got a lovely pair of legs,You’ve got a lovely pair of legs,You’ve got a lovely pair of legs ….!
Insect Joke 107
What pillar doesn’t need holding up ? A caterpillar !
Insect Joke 108
What does a cat go to sleep on ? A caterpillow !
Insect Joke 109
What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day ? Turns over a new leaf !
Insect Joke 110
What is the definition of a caterpillar ? A worm in a fur coat !
Insect Joke 111
Why don’t other bugs like earwigs ? Because they are always earwigging their conversations !
Insect Joke 112
What kind of wig can hear ? An earwig !
Insect Joke 113
What did the earwig say as it fell down the stairs ? Ear we go !
Insect Joke 114
What did the maggot say to his friend when he got stuck in an apple ? Worm your way out of that one !
Insect Joke 115
Why didn’t the two worms get on Noah’s Ark in an apple ? Because everyone had to go on in pairs !
Insect Joke 116
How can you tell which end of a worm is which ? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs !
Insect Joke 117
How do you make a glow worm happy ? Cut off his tail, he ll be de-lighted !
Insect Joke 118
What’s a glow worms favourite song ? Wake me up before you glow glow !
Insect Joke 119
Why was the glow worm unhappy ? Because her children weren’t that bright !
Insect Joke 120
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer ? Light ale !
Insect Joke 121
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat ? A dirty kid !
Insect Joke 122
What did the maggot say to another ? What’s a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this !
Insect Joke 123
What did the woodworm say to the chair ? It’s been nice gnawing you !
Insect Joke 124
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm ? it has a blue light !
Insect Joke 125
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag ? They can lighten your load !
Insect Joke 126
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home ? Where in earth have you been !
Insect Joke 127
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant ? Very big worm holes in your garden !
Insect Joke 128
What makes a glow worm glow ? A light meal !
Insect Joke 129
Why do worms taste like chewing gum ? Because they re wrigleys !
Insect Joke 130
What is life like for a wood worm ? Boring !
Insect Joke 131
What did the spider say when he broke his new web ? Darn it !
Insect Joke 132
What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad ? It became a daddy short legs !
Insect Joke 133
What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose ? I m not sure, but I wouldn’t try smelling it !
Insect Joke 134
Why did the spider buy a car ? So he could take it out for a spin !
Insect Joke 135
What does a spider do when he gets angry ? He goes up the wall !
Insect Joke 136
Why are spiders good swimmers ? They have webbed feet !
Insect Joke 137
What is red and dangerous ? Strawberry and tarantula jelly !
Insect Joke 138
What did the spider say to the fly ? We re getting married do you want to come to the webbing ?
Insect Joke 139
How do you spot a modern spider ? He doesn’t have a web he had a website !
Insect Joke 140
What are spiders webs good for ? Spiders !
Insect Joke 141
What do you call a big irish spider ? Paddy long legs !
Insect Joke 142
What is a spiders favourite TV show ? The newly web game !
Insect Joke 143
What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant ? I m not sure, but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses !
Insect Joke 144
What do you call a 100 spiders on a tyre ? A spinning wheel !
Insect Joke 145
What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses ? If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital !
Insect Joke 146
What kind of doctors are like spiders ? Spin doctors !
Insect Joke 147
Why are spiders like tops ? They are always spinning !
Insect Joke 148
What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late ? Your spinning me a yarn here !
Insect Joke 149
QUESTION: What do you get from a bee that has an udder? ANSWER: Milk and honey.
Insect Joke 150
What kind of bugs bother sporting dogs? Ath-fleats!
Insect Joke 151
How to fleas travel ? Itch hiking !
Insect Joke 152
What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor ? Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go !
Insect Joke 153
First Caribou: What well-known cartoon character do moths like a hole lot? Second Caribou: Micky Moth!
Insect Joke 154
Boy: What’s the biggest ant in the world? Girl: My Aunt Boy: No, it’s an elephant. Girl: You obviously haven’t met my Aunt
Insect Joke 155
What do you call an ant with frog’s legs? An antphibian.
Insect Joke 156
Why don’t anteaters get sick? Because they re full of anty-bodies !
Insect Joke 157
What do you call a scruffy, lazy ant? Decadant.
Insect Joke 158
What do you call a stupid ant? Antwerp.
Insect Joke 159
What are ants called when they run away very fast to get married? Ant-elopers.
Insect Joke 160
Where do you take a sick wasp? To waspital.
Insect Joke 161
What is the wasps favorite song? Just a Spoonful of Sugar.
Insect Joke 162
Surveyor: This house is a ruin. I wonder what stops it from falling down. Owner: I think the woodworm are holding hands.
Insect Joke 163
How do fireflies start a race? Ready, steady, glow!
Insect Joke 164
What do you get if you cross a moth with a firefly? An insect that can find its way around a dark closet.
Insect Joke 165
If a flea and a fly pass each other what time is it? Fly past flea.
Insect Joke 166
A flea jumped over the swinging doors of a saloon, drank three whiskeys and jumped out again. He picked himself up from the dirt, dusted himself down and said, “OK, who moved my dog?”
Insect Joke 167
How do you make a moth bawl? Hit him with a fly swatter.
Insect Joke 168
What insect lives on nothing? A moth, because it eats holes.
Insect Joke 169
Which fly captured the ladybird? The dragon-fly.
Insect Joke 170
Why was the ladybird kicked out of the forest? Because she was a litter bug.
Insect Joke 171
What do you call A Tale of Two Mosquitoes? A bite-time story.
Insect Joke 172
Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one mosquito? Because an itch in time saves nine.
Insect Joke 173
Why are mosquitoes annoying? Because they get under your skin.
Insect Joke 174
What did one mosquito say to another when they came out of the cinema? Fancy a bite?
Insect Joke 175
Two mosquitoes were buzzing round when they saw a drunken man. One said to the other, “You bite him ? I m driving.”
Insect Joke 176
A mother moth was telling her baby moth off saying, “If you don’t eat all your cotton, you won’t get any satin.”
Insect Joke 177
How can you make a moth ball ? Hit it with a fly swatter.
Insect Joke 178
Q: What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant? A: “Dead ant, Dead Ant … Dead ant, Dead Ant .. Dead Ant” (to the tune of Pink Panther theme).
Insect Joke 179
How do fireflies lose weight? They burn calories.
Insect Joke 180
One ant was running across an unopened box of crackers and urging another to speed up. “But why do we have to hurry?” said one. “Can you read, you nut! It says, Tear along the dotted line .’
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