Money Puns

Money Puns

25 cheap and cheerful money puns, clean and work safe, though your boss might disagree spending your time reading money puns is work safe!

Money Pun 1
Why is money called dough?
Because we all knead it.

Money Pun 2
Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

Money Pun 3
Why did your sister feed money to her cow ?
Because she wanted to get rich milk.

Money Pun 4
How do thunderstorms invest their money?
In a combination of liquid assets and frozen assets

Money Pun 5
Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open?
She’d read there was going to be some change in the weather.

Money Pun 6
What kind of money do monsters use?
Weird dough.

Money Pun 7
What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire?
A very witch person.

Money Pun 8
What happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
There was money in the kitty.

Money Pun 9
Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!

Money Pun 10
Why shouldn’t you carry two half dollars in your pocket?
Because two halves make a hole, and you could lose your money.

Money Pun 11
Where do bees keep their money?
In a honey box.

Money Pun 12
What did the pay phone say when the quarter got stuck inside it?
Money’s tight these days!

Money Pun 13
Why was the struggling manger seen shaking the club cat?
To see if there was any more money in the kitty!

Money Pun 14
I can’t find my dollar bill, Jane sobbed.
Don’t worry, her Counselor said. A dollar doesn’t go very far today.

Money Pun 15
Farmer: What would you do if a bull charged you?
Mary: I’d pay whatever it charged.

Funny Money Puns

Funny Money Pun 1
If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter, and another quarter, and then another quarter, how much would you have left?
A million dollars minus 75 cents.

Funny Money Pun 2
If you take half from a half dollar, what do you have?
A dollar.

Funny Money Pun 3
Who makes a million dollars a day?
Someone who works in a mint.

Funny Money Pun 4
What lands as often on its tail as it does its head?
A penny.

Funny Money Pun 5
If George Washington were alive today, why couldn’t he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac?
Because a dollar doesn’t go as far as it used to.

Funny Money Pun 6
What dog has money?
A bloodhound, because he is always picking up scents.

Funny Money Pun 7
Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?
Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back

Funny Money Pun 8
What is the quickest way to double your money?
Rip it in half!

Funny Money Pun 9
Why was the skunk arrested for counterfeiting?
Because he gave out bad scents.

Funny Money Pun 10
How did rich people get their money?
They were calm and collected.

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