Witch Joke 1
What do witches ring for in a hotel? B-room service.
Witch Joke 2
Did you hear about the witch who was ashamed of her long black hair? She always wore long gloves to cover it up.
Witch Joke 3
How do warty witches keep their hair out of place? With scare spray.
Witch Joke 4
What happened to the witch with an upside down nose? Every time she sneezed her hat blew off.
Witch Joke 5
Why did the witch lose her way? Because her hat was pointing in the wrong direction.
Witch Joke 6
Why does a witch wear a pointed black hat? To keep her head warm.
Witch Joke 7
Old witch: Now I know you want a job with me. Do you tell lies? Young witch: No, but I can pick it up.
Witch Joke 8
What do you call a witch who kills her mother and father? An orphan.
Witch Joke 9
What do witches use pencil sharpeners for? To keep their hats pointed.
Witch Joke 10
What do you call two witches who share a room? Broom-mates.
Witch Joke 11
How do you get milk from a witch’s cat? Steal her saucer.
Witch Joke 12
What happened to the naughty little witch at school? She was ex-spelled.
Witch Joke 13
Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse? She was having Disney spells.
Witch Joke 14
Have you heard about the goodweather witch? She’s forecasting sunny spells.
Witch Joke 15
Why was the student witch so bad at essays? Because she couldn’t spell properly.
Witch Joke 16
What’s the favorite subject of young witches at school? Spelling.
Witch Joke 17
What happens if you see twin witches? You won’t be able to tell witch witch is witch.
Witch Joke 18
How do witches lose weight? They join weight witches.
Witch Joke 19
What has handles and flies? A witch in a garbage can.
Witch Joke 20
What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital? With any luck you ll be able to get up for a spell.
Witch Joke 21
Why did the witch wear a green felt pointed hat? So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen.
Witch Joke 22
What do you call a witch who climbs up walls? Ivy.
Witch Joke 23
What do you call a witch with one leg? Eileen.
Witch Joke 24
What goes cackle, cackle, squelch, squelch? A witch in soggy trainers.
Witch Joke 25
What goes cackle, cackle, boom? A witch in a minefield.
Witch Joke 26
Why won’t a witch wear a flat cap? Because there’s no point in it.
Witch Joke 27
What do you call a witch that stays out all night? A fresh air freak.
Witch Joke 28
How can you make a witch itch? Take away her “W.”
Witch Joke 29
What does a witch enjoy cooking most? Gnomelettes.
Witch Joke 30
What did the young witch say to her mother? Can I have the keys to the broom tonight?
Witch Joke 31
Q: How do you picture yourself flying on a broom? A: By witchful thinking.
Witch Joke 32
How does a witch make scrambled eggs ? She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright ! Owl be seeing you later.
Witch Joke 33
1st Witch: What’s your new boyfriend like ? 2nd Witch: He’s mean, nasty, ugly, smelly and totally evil – but he has some bad points too !
Witch Joke 34
Witch: Why have you stopped playing cards with my sister ? Wizard: Well would you play with someone who cheats all the time, is a poor loser and keeps tearing up the cards ? Witch: No I wouldn t. Wizard: No, well nor will she.
Witch Joke 35
First witch: My, hasn’t your little girl grown ? Second witch: Yes, she’s certainly gruesome.
Witch Joke 36
How does a witch doctor ask a girl to dance ? Voodoo like to dance with me ?
Witch Joke 37
Did you hear about the witch who turned her friend into an egg? She kept trying to poach her ideas.
Witch Joke 38
What does an Australian witch ride on? A broomerang!
Witch Joke 39
What would you get if you crossed a witch with a famous movie director? Steven Spellberg!
Witch Joke 40
Witch l: “How do you manage to stay in shape?” Witch 2: “I get a lot of hexercise.”
Witch Joke 41
Is it good to drink witch’s brew? Yes, it’s very newt tricious!
Witch Joke 42
What is a witch’s favourite TV show? Lifestyles of the Witch and Famous!
Witch Joke 43
Where did the witch get her furniture ? From the ideal gnome exhibition !
Witch Joke 44
How can you tell an Italian witch from an English one ? By her suntan !
Witch Joke 45
What’s the witches favourite pop group ? Broomski Beat !
Witch Joke 46
What is old and ugly and can see just as well from both ends ? A witch with a blindfold !
Witch Joke 47
What is the best way of stopping infection from witch bites ? Don’t bite any witches !
Witch Joke 48
What does a witch do if her broom is stolen ? She calls the flying squad !
Witch Joke 49
What is the witches motto ? We came, we saw, we conjured !
Witch Joke 50
How do you know when you are in bed with a witch ? She has a big “W” embroidered on her pyjamas !
Witch Joke 51
Why do witches have stiff joints ? They get broomatism !
Witch Joke 52
Who went into a witche’s den and came out alive ? The witch !
Witch Joke 53
What did the young witch say to her mother ? Can I have the keys to the broom tonight !
Witch Joke 54
What did the witch say to the ugly toad? I d put a curse on you – but somebody beat me to it!
Witch Joke 55
Did you hear about the witch who went in for the lovely legs competition? She was beaten by the microphone stand.
Witch Joke 56
Did you hear about the witch who fed her pet vulture on sawdust? The vulture laid ten eggs and when they hatched, nine chicks had wooden legs and the tenth was a woodpecker.
Witch Joke 57
Did you hear about the TV show with FBI agents and witches? It’s called The Hex-Files.
Witch Joke 58
Q: What kind of witch goes to the beach? A: Sandwitch