The Grand National is an annual national hunt horse race held at Aintree racecourse in England, UK. The handicap steeplechase is about 4 miles and 2½ furlongs (4 miles 514 yards (6.907 km)) in length, with the most elite horses jumping 30 fences over two laps. With a horse race prize pot of over £1,000,000 it’s the most valuable European jump race!
Now we’ve got that out of the way, let’s take the piss out of those snobs with the silly hats and clothes who attend the Grand National :-)
Funny Grand National Jokes
Grand National Joke 1
I was going to back “Itchyfanny” at the Grand National, but that’s been scratched!!
Grand National Joke 2
My granddad rode the winner of the Grand National.
He got 3 years for bestiality.
Grand National Joke 3
My pony was going to enter the Grand National, but it got a cold and is feeling a little hoarse.
Grand National Joke 4
Ryanair boss Michael O’Leary’s horse came in first at Cheltenham yesterday.
It should’ve come in at Chepstow.
Grand National Joke 5
Was on my way out of the house last Saturday when I shouted to my wife. “I’m just nipping to the bookies love, going to have a few bets on the football”.
“Ok”, she replied, “that’s fine dear”.
This really shocked me as I was expecting her to kick off, but with her being so nice about it I shouted back, “I might even have a cheeky bet on the grand national”.
“Don’t push it”, she yelled back.
Best betting tip I’ve ever had.
Grand National Joke Tips
Grand National Joke Tip 1
Got a Grand National Gambling Tip for Aintree Tomorrow
“Foundation” 2nd Race. You can put your house on it
Grand National Joke Tip 2
Got a hot Grand National Gambling Tip
Creosote in the 4.15. It’s great over fences!
Grand National Joke Tip 3
Grand National Gambling Tip
“Spearmint Gum”, although, no, that sticks to the rails.!
Grand National Joke Tip 4
Grand National Gambling Tip
leaky tap, but only if its running.
Grand National Joke Tip 5
Grand National Gambling Tip
V-NECK 15/1 its always been a good jumper
Grand National Joke Tip 6
Great Grand National Gambling Tip for Aintree again.
12-1 dusty rug. It’s never been beaten.
Grand National Joke Tip 7
Tip for the Grand National?
Ironing Board, put your shirt on it.
Grand National Joke Tip 8
Tip for the Grand National?
Weak Bladder, it will piss it.
Grand National Joke Tip 9
Tip for the Grand National?
Dusty Carpet, like it’s famous father Dusty Rug it’s never been beat!
Enjoyed the Grand National Jokes, maybe you’ll find Horse Burger Jokes funny, you seem to have a sick sense of humour!
Website - Really Funny Jokes