Turning 40 Joke 01
“Doctor, I got heartburn when I ate my 40th birthday cake.”
Next time, take off the candles.”

Turning 40 Joke 02
“I guess I didn’t get my 40th birthday wish.”
“How do you know?”
“You’re still here!”

Turning 40 Joke 03
“I’m giving a ‘surprised’ 40th birthday party for you.”
“A ‘surprised’ 40th birthday party? What’s that?”
“That’s where I invite a bunch of your friends, and if any of them come, I’ll be surprised!”

Turning 40 Joke 04
“My 40th birthday’s coming”
Do you know what I need?”
“Yeah, but how do you wrap a life?”

Turning 40 Joke 05
“Were any famous men born on your birthday?”
“No, only little babies.”

Turning 40 Joke 06
“You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake”. – Bob Hope

Turning 40 Joke 07
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, “I’ll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her 40th birthday.”
Well, you can imagine her disappointment.
The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn’t get her anything.
She says, “Why didn’t you get me a birthday present!?”
He replies, “You didn’t use what I got you last year!”

Turning 40 Joke 08
All of your favorite movies are now re-released in color.

Turning 40 Joke 09
At turning 40, before crossing a room you look both ways.

Turning 40 Joke 10
At turning 40, conversations with people your own age often become a duel of ailments.

Turning 40 Joke 11
At turning 40, every time you suck in your gut, your ankles swell.

Turning 40 Joke 12
At turning 40, I realize that I was built for comfort, not speed.

Turning 40 Joke 13
At turning 40, if you’ve never smoked, you can start now and it won’t have time to hurt you.

Turning 40 Joke 14
At turning 40, it takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

Turning 40 Joke 15
At turning 40, you get two invitations to go out on the same night, and you pick the one that gets you home the earliest.

Turning 40 Joke 16
At turning 40, you sing along with the elevator music.

Turning 40 Joke 17
At turning 40, you suffer from Clue Deficit Disorder.

Turning 40 Joke 18
At turning 40, your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

Turning 40 Joke 19
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

Turning 40 Joke 20
Don’t take life so seriously, it’s not permanent.

Turning 40 Joke 21
Getting old sucks, but it sure beats the alternative.

Turning 40 Joke 22
I remember on my 40th Surprise Party, my youngest daughter asked me, “When you were young, were you ever good looking”?

Turning 40 Joke 23
I’m not 40, I’m 18 with 22 years experience!

Turning 40 Joke 24
It’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

Turning 40 Joke 25
John: Do you like the dictionary I bought you for your 40th birthday?
Sam: Sure. It’s a great present but I just can’t find the words to thank you enough.

Turning 40 Joke 26
Mouth is in gear, brain is in neutral, I’m forty!

Turning 40 Joke 27
My own mortality will be the death of me yet.

Turning 40 Joke 28
Some employees bought their boss a gift for his 40th birthday.
Before opening the gift, the boss shook it slightly, and noticed that it was wet in the corner.
Touching his finger to the wet spot and tasting it, he asked, “A bottle of wine?”
His employees replied, “No.”
Again, he touched his finger to the box and tasted the liquid. “A bottle of scotch?”
“His employees replied again, “No.”
Finally the boss asked, “I give up. What is it?”
His workers responded, “A puppy.”

Turning 40 Joke 29
Why couldn’t prehistoric man send birthday cards?
The stamps kept falling off the rocks!

Turning 40 Joke 30
Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

Turning 40 Joke 31
Your new easy chair has more options than your car.

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