Murphy Computer Law 1
75% of the bugs laws in this page can be applied to MS Windows (Any version).
Murphy Computer Law 2
90% of a programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
Murphy Computer Law 3
A chain letter – will be sent. To global. A dozen times.
Murphy Computer Law 4
A complex system that does’ t work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
Murphy Computer Law 5
A computer is only as smart as the person using it
Murphy Computer Law 6
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.
Murphy Computer Law 7
A ‘debugged’ program that crashes will wipe out source files on storage devices when there is the least available backup.
Murphy Computer Law 8
A failure in a device will never appear until it has passed final inspection.
Murphy Computer Law 9
A hardware failure will cause system software to crash, and the customer engineer will blame the programmer.
Murphy Computer Law 10
A part dropped from the workbench will roll to a degree of un-reachability proportional to its importance.
Murphy Computer Law 11
A patch is a piece of software which replaces old bugs with new bugs.
Murphy Computer Law 12
A program generator creates programs that are more buggy than the program generator.
Murphy Computer Law 13
A program is good when it’s bug free – which is impossible.
Murphy Computer Law 14
A program that compile on the first run has an error in the algorithm
Murphy Computer Law 15
A program will work the you think is should only when you don’t care if it does.
Murphy Computer Law 16
A quarantined virus – will be opened.
Murphy Computer Law 17
A system software crash will cause hardware to act strangely and the programmers will blame the customer engineer.
Murphy Computer Law 18
A virus will be erased when the hard drive crashes, making it useless for antivirus program to fix it.
Murphy Computer Law 19
A working program is one that has only unobserved bugs.
Murphy Computer Law 20
According to most Tech Support people, the most common user error message (regardless of Operating System) is ID 10T.
Murphy Computer Law 21
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
Murphy Computer Law 22
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
Murphy Computer Law 23
After a software is released, the first bug found will be by a person who normally does not use that portion of the program but was wondering why he can’t do something he normally would not do.
Murphy Computer Law 24
All components become obsolete.
Murphy Computer Law 25
All Constants are Variables.
Murphy Computer Law 26
An employee rank is in inverse proportion to his use of a computer, and in proportion to its performance.
Murphy Computer Law 27
An expert is someone brought in at the last minute to share the blame.
Murphy Computer Law 28
Antivirus systems only effectively work on a virus after given virus has passed its prime.
Murphy Computer Law 29
Any cool program always requires more memory than you have.
Murphy Computer Law 30
Any given program costs more and takes longer each time it is run.
Murphy Computer Law 31
Any given program will expand to fill all the available memory.
Murphy Computer Law 32
Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
Murphy Computer Law 33
Any manufacturer making his warranties dependent upon the device being earthed will only supply power cabling with two wires.
Murphy Computer Law 34
Any problem, no matter how complex, can be found by simple inspection.
Murphy Computer Law 35
Any VDU, from the cheapest to the most expensive, will protect a twenty cent fuse by blowing first.
Murphy Computer Law 36
as soon as you download a big file, your computer with shut down
Murphy Computer Law 37
Auto Correct – isn’t
Murphy Computer Law 38
Bugs mysteriously appear when you say, “Watch this!”
Murphy Computer Law 39
Bugs will appear in one part of a working program when another ‘unrelated’ part is modified.
Murphy Computer Law 40
By the time you learn your new computer you’ll need a new one.
Murphy Computer Law 41
Complete computer breakdown will happen shortly after the maintenance person has left.
Murphy Computer Law 42
Computer masochism: When a computer takes all the abuse you think you can give it and continues working as it should.
Murphy Computer Law 43
Computer sadism: When the computer causes physical or mental damage to a person and can’t receive such a return favor (due to management rules).
Murphy Computer Law 44
Computers don’t make errors-What they do they do on purpose.
Murphy Computer Law 45
Computers let you waste time efficiently
Murphy Computer Law 46
Computers never work the way they are supposed to. Especially when nothing is wrong with them.
Murphy Computer Law 47
Constants aren’t
Murphy Computer Law 48
Corollary: A nagging intruder with unsought advice will spot it immediately.
Murphy Computer Law 49
Corollary: A subtle bug will modify storage thereby masquerading as some other problem.
Murphy Computer Law 50
Corollary: A sufficient condition for program triviality is that it have no bugs.
Murphy Computer Law 51
Corollary: ACPI shutdown (sometimes faster to get to than the plug) does not always work.
Murphy Computer Law 52
Corollary: ACPI shutdown will fail most frequently when you run the risk of being caught doing something.
Murphy Computer Law 53
Corollary: At least one bug will be observed after the author leaves the organization.
Murphy Computer Law 54
Corollary: If its not their fault – Blame them anyway :-)
Murphy Computer Law 55
corollary: If you call another programmer over to see if he knows what’s wrong the bug disappears.
Murphy Computer Law 56
Corollary: Marketing should not be located in the same city – much less on the same campus – as Engineering and/or Programming.
Murphy Computer Law 57
Debugging is at least twice as hard as writing the program in the first place.
Murphy Computer Law 58
Disks are always full. It is futile to try to get more disk space. Data expands to fill any void.
Murphy Computer Law 59
Don’t take it personally, stupid
Murphy Computer Law 60
Each computer code has five bugs, and tis number does not depend on how many bugs have been already found (it is conservative).
Murphy Computer Law 61
E-mailed tasking will always come just before you log off.
Murphy Computer Law 62
End-users’ Corollary 1: most application failures occur between the hours of 2 and 4 am on a Sunday night – with a 6 am Monday deadline for the project.
Murphy Computer Law 63
End-users’ Corollary 2: On the graveyard shift, there’s no Tech Support to hear you scream!
Murphy Computer Law 64
Every non trivial program has at least one bug
Murphy Computer Law 65
Every non-trivial program can be simplified by at least one line of code.
Murphy Computer Law 66
Every non-trivial program contains at least one bug.
Murphy Computer Law 67
Failure is not an option, it’s included with the software.
Murphy Computer Law 68
for any given software, the moment you manage to master it, a new version appears.
Murphy Computer Law 69
For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
Murphy Computer Law 70
Format C: fixes all
Murphy Computer Law 71
General Fault Errors are the “Check Engine” light of computers. If it can be fixed, chances are it’s not by you.
Murphy Computer Law 72
Good enough – isn’t, unless there is a deadline.
Murphy Computer Law 73
He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.
Murphy Computer Law 74
If a circuit requires n components, then there will be only n – 1 components in locally-held stocks.
Murphy Computer Law 75
If a program actually fits in memory and has enough disk space, it is guaranteed to crash.
Murphy Computer Law 76
If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
Murphy Computer Law 77
If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
Murphy Computer Law 78
If a project is completed on schedule, it wasn’t debugged properly.
Murphy Computer Law 79
If it ain’t broke, Overclock it!
Murphy Computer Law 80
If it works, it’s production. If it doesn’t, it’s a test.
Murphy Computer Law 81
If Murphy’s laws are so true then how come I can log onto this site and submi………… [connection reset – error message 928 ]
Murphy Computer Law 82
If such a program has not crashed yet, it is waiting for a critical moment before it crashes.
Murphy Computer Law 83
If you forget to save you’re work every 5 minutes, it will break down after you’ve been at it for an hour.
Murphy Computer Law 84
If you make the letters in your Word document bigger and then you print it out, you’ll have everything on the first page and only one line on the second.
Murphy Computer Law 85
If you need to shutdown your PC ASAP, It will restart.
Murphy Computer Law 86
If you were preventive enough to save a copy of anything, you will not need it. Therefore – Not saving a copy of anything is directly proportional to the value of the information lost and the amount of time invested in gathering and typing it
Murphy Computer Law 87
If you’re in a hurry, your computer will crash, a hard drive will become corrupted, or your files will be erased. Any way, you’re screwed if you have a deadline.
Murphy Computer Law 88
‘Illegal Error’ messages only happen when you forget to save your work
Murphy Computer Law 89
In a transistor circuit protected by a fuse, the transistor will always blow to protect the fuse.
Murphy Computer Law 90
It is axiomatic that any spares required will have just been discontinued and will be no longer in stock.
Murphy Computer Law 91
It’s not a bug, it’s an undocumented feature.
Murphy Computer Law 92
Law of Acceleration: A computer that has surpassed its user’s frustration capacity (FC) will accelerate downwards at 9.8 meters per second squared.
Murphy Computer Law 93
Law of Anti-security: The best way past a pesky security feature is a 13-year-old.
Murphy Computer Law 94
Law of Recycling: A computer that has been on the market for 6 weeks is still usable as a boat anchor.
Murphy Computer Law 95
Leet speak is nothing more than some poor fool’s attempt to type really, really fast.
Murphy Computer Law 96
Make a system even a moron can use and a moron will use it.
Murphy Computer Law 97
Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you will find that programmers can not write in English.
Murphy Computer Law 98
Make one that requires training or intelligence and only a moron will use it, but there will be more help desk calls.
Murphy Computer Law 99
Microsoft excel- doesn’t
Murphy Computer Law 100
Millions of people believe they are animals, but I have yet to meet one that believe in Windows’ stability. Even human stupidity has limits ;-)
Murphy Computer Law 101
Most computer errors can be attributed to a similar problem – a screw loose behind the keyboard.
Murphy Computer Law 102
Murphy works for Microsoft. In fact, he is in charge of their QA
Murphy Computer Law 103
No matter how big a hard drive you buy, you’ll need to double it in a year.
Murphy Computer Law 104
No matter how fantastic your latest and greatest PC is, you will be able to buy it for half the price in 12 months.
Murphy Computer Law 105
No matter how good of a deal you get on computer components, the price will always drop immediately after the purchase.
Murphy Computer Law 106
No matter how hard you work, the boss will only appear when you access the Internet.
Murphy Computer Law 107
No matter how many resources you have, it is never enough.
Murphy Computer Law 108
No matter what problem you have with your computer – Its Always Microsoft’s fault
Murphy Computer Law 109
Non Crash Operating System aren’t.
Murphy Computer Law 110
Patches – don’t.
Murphy Computer Law 111
Pioneers get arrows
Murphy Computer Law 112
Plugins Law: Whenever you install a group of plugins one by one just to find out which one can make your software work, you either haven’t gotten the right one, or have accidentally skipped the right one or it has become the last one installed.
Murphy Computer Law 113
Profanity is one language all computer users know.
Murphy Computer Law 114
Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.
Murphy Computer Law 115
Proof-read all e-mails three or four times before sending it. All errors are detected immediatly after being sent
Murphy Computer Law 116
Real programmers don’t comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
Murphy Computer Law 117
So if your code is as clever as you can possibly make it, then by definition you’re not smart enough to debug it.
Murphy Computer Law 118
Software bugs are impossible to detect by anybody except the end user.
Murphy Computer Law 119
Software does not fail when the technician is in the room.
Murphy Computer Law 120
Software Reliability: Investment in software reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors.
Murphy Computer Law 121
The amount of damage that a string of code can do is inversely proportional to the length of the string
Murphy Computer Law 122
The amount of time taken to successfully complete a software project is in direct proportion to the amount of Marketing input.
Murphy Computer Law 123
The best way to see your boss is to access the Internet.
Murphy Computer Law 124
The boss will always come to your workspace when you accidentally open an adult link
Murphy Computer Law 125
The chance of a virus infecting your network is directly proportional to the amount of damage it does.
Murphy Computer Law 126
the chance to lose data is inversely proportional to the number people in the room when updating a simple server program
Murphy Computer Law 127
The chances of a program doing what it’s supposed to do is inversely proportional to the number of lines of code used to write it.
Murphy Computer Law 128
The chances of getting off work on time is inversely proportional to how much e-mail the boss leaves for until end of the day.
Murphy Computer Law 129
The conclusion of the last two laws: Every non trivial program can be simplified to one line of code, and it will contain a bug.
Murphy Computer Law 130
The documented interfaces between standard software modules will have undocumented quirks.
Murphy Computer Law 131
The faster you need a hardcopy, the more people will be using the only office printer.
Murphy Computer Law 132
The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you’d least expect to find it.
Murphy Computer Law 133
The hard drive on your computer will only crash when it contains vital information that has not been backed up.
Murphy Computer Law 134
The likelihood of problems occurring is inversely proportional to the amount of time remaining before the deadline.
Murphy Computer Law 135
The longer it takes to download a program the more likely it won’t run.
Murphy Computer Law 136
The longer the e-mail, the greater the chance it will not make it to its detination, for whatever reason
Murphy Computer Law 137
The maintenance engineer will never have seen a model quite like yours before.
Murphy Computer Law 138
The more pop-up screens you have, the more likely the boss will come by
Murphy Computer Law 139
The most frightening of viruses is the virus you do not know is already there.
Murphy Computer Law 140
The most ominous words for those using computers: “Daddy, what does ‘Now formatting Drive C mean’?”
Murphy Computer Law 141
The new version always manages to change the one feature you need most.
Murphy Computer Law 142
The number of bugs always exceeds the number of lines found in a program.
Murphy Computer Law 143
The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
Murphy Computer Law 144
the OEM did not actually manufacture the part you need to replace
Murphy Computer Law 145
The only program that runs perfectly every time, is a virus
Murphy Computer Law 146
The only thing worse than an end-user without a clue is an end-user who has a clue – usually the wrong one.
Murphy Computer Law 147
The people who say that computers are simple to use are the same people who tell you how to build a watch when you ask what time it is.
Murphy Computer Law 148
The probability of a hardware failure disappearing is inversely proportional to the distance between the computer and the customer engineer.
Murphy Computer Law 149
The probability of bugs appearing is directly proportional to the number and importance of people watching.
Murphy Computer Law 150
The probability of forgetting your password is directly proportional to the frequency of changing it.
Murphy Computer Law 151
The problem always exists between one keyboard and it’s respective chair. (On submission problem was insomnia… zzzzzz)
Murphy Computer Law 152
The quickest way to shutdown a PC is to unplug it.
Murphy Computer Law 153
The smaller the size of your email account, the more junk mail you will get
Murphy Computer Law 154
The smallest problems will immediately be brought to the attention of the CEO, but the big problems will be ignored until the affected system goes down.
Murphy Computer Law 155
The sound of grinding metal or the sight of smoke coming from a case is a warning that you are trying to do too much with too little.
Murphy Computer Law 156
The speed with which components become obsolete is directly proportional to the price of the component.
Murphy Computer Law 157
The subtlest bugs cause the greatest damage and problems.
Murphy Computer Law 158
The survivability of a system is directly proportional to the price of the cooling system applied to it and inversely proportional to the amount of use it sees.
Murphy Computer Law 159
The troubleshooting guide contains the answer to every problem except yours.
Murphy Computer Law 160
The value of a program is inversely proportional to the weight of its output.
Murphy Computer Law 161
The worst bugs in your program will show up only during the final review.
Murphy Computer Law 162
There is an inverse relationship between an organization’s hierarchy and its understanding of computers.
Murphy Computer Law 163
To err is human… to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it’s downright natural.
Murphy Computer Law 164
Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.
Murphy Computer Law 165
Variables won’t
Murphy Computer Law 166
Walking on water and developing software to specification are easy as long as both are frozen.
Murphy Computer Law 167
When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
Murphy Computer Law 168
When designing a program to handle all possible dumb errors, nature creates a dumber user
Murphy Computer Law 169
When putting something into memory, always remember where you put it.
Murphy Computer Law 170
When the Downloading Window says “99%complete”, there will be a fluctuation in the voltage and you’ll have to start all over again.
Murphy Computer Law 171
When the going gets tough, upgrade.
Murphy Computer Law 172
When you finally buy enough memory, you will not have enough disk space.
Murphy Computer Law 173
When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.
Murphy Computer Law 174
Whenever you need a crucial file from the server, the network will be down.
Murphy Computer Law 175
Whenever you need a crucial file from your hard drive, your computer will crash.
Murphy Computer Law 176
You only receive instant messaging, when working on a project that’s due instantly
Murphy Computer Law 177
You will always discover errors in your work after you have printed/submitted it.
Murphy Computer Law 178
You will get disconnected from the Internet or experience a computer crash when you are downloading. If you don’t experience one within 80% completion, then it will happen at 99%. If you do manage to get the file, then it will turn out to be completely useless and/or invalid.
Murphy Computer Law 179
You’ll always receive an e-mail from a web site that you never visit before.
Website - Really Funny Jokes