Women claim that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because: 1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. 2. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless. 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem. 4. […]

A man and his wife were invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the masked Halloween party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there […]

A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. “What’s the matter?” he was asked. He said, “I heard the nurse say, ‘It’s a very simple operation, don’t worry, I’m sure it will be all right.” “She was just trying to comfort you, what’s so frightening about that?” “She […]

Redneck Jokes 401-500 Other Redneck Jokes Redneck Jokes 1 to 100 Redneck Jokes 101 to 200 Redneck Jokes 201 to 300 Redneck Jokes 301 to 400 Redneck Jokes 401 to 500 Redneck Jokes 501 to 600 Redneck Jokes 601 to 700 Redneck Jokes 701 to 800 Redneck Jokes 801 to 900 Redneck Joke 401 You […]

The old family physician of a small town being away on vacation, entrusted his practice to his son – a recent medical student. When the old doctor returned, the young doctor told him amongst other things, that he cured Miss Jones, an aged and wealthy spinster, of her chronic wind. “My boy,” said the old […]

Food Joke 1 Q. What did the salt say to the pepper? A. Hey Baby, What’s SHAKING! Food Joke 2 One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself. Tom wasn’t happy about that: “When […]

Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, “You know, I’m getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn’t remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down.” The second lady says, “You think that’s […]

Part of my job as a public-health nurse is teaching new parents how to care for their infants. As I was demonstrating how to wrap a newborn, a young Asian couple turned to me and said, “You mean we should wrap the baby like an egg roll?” “Yes,” I replied, “That is a good analogy.” […]

A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink. He replied, “No thanks. I don’t drink. I tried it once, but I didn’t like it.” So the bartender said, “Well, would you like a cigarette?” But the man […]

Fishing Joke 1 Bob is sitting on the ice all day fishing with no luck, not even a nibble. Cold and tired he is about to leave, when a guy walks up cuts a hole in the ice beside him, and starts pulling out fish as fast a he can drop his hook in the […]

A grandma and her grandson were waliking in the park. The grandson spotted a coin and wanted to pick it up, but his grandma told him not to pick stuff up from the ground. The next day, they went walking in the park. The grandma fell down and said “dear grandson may you please help […]

Reporter: There are many allegations for your disqualification in election. One allegation says you are not a Filipino citizen. Another allegation says your father is a Spaniard and your mother is an American. Another allegation is you are an illegitimate child. Candidate: Who are these alligators?

There was this international contest for the best life insurance policy. Bob Barker was the emcee: Contestant No. 1 (from an American firm): “I will insure your child from birth to death.” Bob Barker smiles and says, “Let’s hear it for good old American values.” Audience claps. Contestant No. 2 (from a German firm): “I […]

Yo mama so ugly, when she was in labor the doctor asked which end!

Two guys were walking their dogs and came across a bar. Since they were hot and tired from walking the dogs they decided to go in and have a drink. Unfortunately, the bar didn’t allow dogs. There was no place to safely secure the dogs, so they started thinking of ideas to get in the […]

A manager at a General Store is teaching a young, newly hired boy how to sell people more than they really want. Suddenly, a man walks in asking for a bag of lawn seed. The manager walks up to him and says, “Of course. But you will be wanting a lawn mower, too, right?” The […]

Yo Mama Joke 1 Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said “Moving.” Yo Mama Joke 2 Yo mama so poor she can’t afford to pay attention! Yo Mama Joke 3 Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell […]

A state trooper spied a car puttering along at 22 MPH. So he turned on his lights and pulled the driver over. Approaching the car, he noticed that five old guys were inside, and they looked wide-eyed and terribly pale. The driver pleaded with him, “Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed […]

A dumb blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys. The dumb blond […]

Yo Mama’s so dumb i told her Christmas was around the corner, and she went lookin’. Yo Mama’s so dumb I told her she lost her mind, and she started looking for it. Yo Mama’s so dumb she got locked in a toilet and pissed herself. Yo mama’s so dumb, she stuck the phone up […]

There once were two Irish men, named Shawn and Pat, who were the best of friends. During one particular night of revelry, the two agreed that when one passed on, the other would buy and spill the contents of a bottle of fine, Irish whiskey over the grave of the fondly missed and recently dead […]

Waiter Joke 1 Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don’t worry, Sir, it’s not that hot! Waiter Joke 2 A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat. “Are you crazy?” yelled the customer, “with your hand on my steak?” “What” answers the waiter, “You want […]

A couple were driving to a church to get married. On the way, they got into a car accident and died. When they arrive in heaven, they see St. Peter at the gate. They ask him if he could arrange it so they could marry in heaven. St. Peter tells them that he’ll do his […]

Yo check this yo momma so dum wen she farts she thinks her cheeks are talkn to each other! Yo Mama so Dumb Joke Submitted by JOkeN SmokKN Kling

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there''s a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!” “It's not just one car,” said Herman, “It's hundreds of them!”

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, Every creature was hurting– even the mouse. The toys were all broken, their batteries dead; Santa passed out, with some ice on his head. Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, while Upstairs the family continued to snore. And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks […]

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the skies, Air defences were up, with electronic eyes. Combat pilots were nestled in ready-room beds, As enemy silhouettes danced in their heads. Every jet on the apron, each SAM in its tube, Was triply-redundant, linked to the Blue Cube, And ELINT and AWACS gave coverage so […]

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God. “Where have you been?” God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look, Michael. Look what I’ve made.” Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, “What is it?” “It’s […]

What was Helen Keller’s favorite color? Corduroy

Biologist Joke 1 Two biologists are in the field following the tracks of a radio-collared grizzly bear. All of a sudden, the bear crashes out of the brush and heads right for them. They scramble up the nearest tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first biologist starts taking off […]