The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven where he's met by a reception committee of angels. After a whirlwind tour, The Pope is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, so he spends […]

Whats the difference between an Emo and a puppy? The puppy stops whining once it gets to the park. Whats the difference between an emo and a tennis ball? The tennis ball bounces if you throw it off of a tall building. Why did the man bury the emo kids alive? Because he had heard […]

Four guys went golfing; one went in the clubhouse to pay while the others waited at the first tee. One of the guys says, “I’m so proud of my son. He is a stock broker and he’s made enough that he just gave away a huge portfolio.” The next guy said, “I’m so proud of […]

The auto part requiring the most consistent repair or replacement will be housed in the most inaccessible location of the car.

Birthday Joke 1 A man asked his wife, “What would you most like for your birthday?” She said, “I d love to be ten again.” On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park – […]

A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes were missing. While searching around for them, he accidentally locked himself out of the locker room, and he found himself completely naked in the halls of the world’s most powerful military organization HQ. But, luckily, no one was around to […]

sluts are like vacuums. they suck, they blow, and they get layed in the closet Sluts are like vacuums joke Submitted by number 4

An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, “I will give you three wishes.” The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, “I want a beer that never is empty.” […]

Redneck Jokes 201 to 300 Other Redneck Jokes Redneck Jokes 1 to 100 Redneck Jokes 101 to 200 Redneck Jokes 201 to 300 Redneck Jokes 301 to 400 Redneck Jokes 401 to 500 Redneck Jokes 501 to 600 Redneck Jokes 601 to 700 Redneck Jokes 701 to 800 Redneck Jokes 801 to 900 Redneck Joke […]

http://www.thejakartapost.com/ MOUNT MERAPI, Central Java (AP): As thousands of people flee Indonesia’s erupting Mount Merapi, the 80-year-old man entrusted by Javanese royalty to watch over the volcano’s spirits is going nowhere — and insists the mountain is safe. “There is no risk,” Maridjan said outside his home just six kilometers from the crater, which was […]

Snowman Joke 1 What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman? Have an ice day! Snowman Joke 2 What do you get if you cross King Kong with a snowman? Frostbite. Snowman Joke 3 Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib? A: A snowmobile! Snowman Joke 4 What […]

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock — it’s half-past three in the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time”, he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. “Aren’t you going to answer […]

The woman asked her redneck lover, “Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?” “Sure,” he replied. “What’s your phone number?

A Catholic, a Baptist, and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families. “I have four boys and my wife is expecting another. One more son and I’ll have a basketball team!” said the Catholic. “That’s nothing!” said the Baptist. “I have ten boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. […]

A 65-year-old woman gave birth to a baby boy. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit. ”May we see the new baby?” one asked. “Not yet,” said the mother. “I’ll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.” Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative […]

King Kong Joke 1 After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. “How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.00. “That’s a bit much,” said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. “That’s still […]

Shouting Baby Duckling Picture Caption What’s this baby duck shouting about? Give us a funny caption below.

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: ''Emma come first. I come. Dennis come and Dennis come again. I come […]

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's enjoying it, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then he jumps onto the pool table, grabs one […]

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, “What is wrong with you?” Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion and she would be called “woman.” God said, “This person will cook for you and wash […]

A group of life long friends from the same Chicago street spent a weekend gambling vacation in Las Vegas. They all agreed if one of them won big they would treat the others to another gambling break next holiday. One of the men on the gambling trip won $100,000 playing blackjack. Remembering the agreement to […]

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Movie And TV Joke 1 A movie producer is lying by the pool at the Beverly Hilton. His partner arrives in a great state of excitement. “How d the meeting go?” asks the first guy. “It went great,” says his buddy. “Tarentino will write and direct for six million, Mel Gibson will star for eight, […]

One day this cop pulls over a dumb blonde for speeding. The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license. ”You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license and the next day you ask me to show it.” Rating: 4/5 Comment: Wouldn’t be surprised if […]

A student is taking his final exams. He takes his seat in the exam hall, stares at the questions and then in a fit for inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his shirt, pants and socks. The teacher, alarmed, approached him and asked what is going […]

Short Funny Joke 1 A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. “Our flag symbolizes our taxes,” he said. “We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay […]

An American walks into an Irish pub and says, “I’ll give anyone $100 if they can drink 10 Guinness’s in 10 minutes.” Most people just ignore the absurd bet and go back to their conversations. One Irish guy even leaves the bar. A little while later that Irish guy comes back and asks the American, […]

Funny Court Quote: Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. Funny Court Quote: Q: How old is your son – […]

This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is very dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed-up rabbit into the house, gives it a bath, blow-dries its […]

A man, his son, and a dog walk into a bar. “Ow!” “Ow!” “Woof!”