Q: What’s the hardest thing about rollerblading? A: Telling your parents you’re gay.

A farmer just got married and was going home on his wagon pulled by a team of horses. When one of the horses stumbled, he said, “That’s once.” Then it stumbled again. He said, “That’s twice.” Then later it stumbled a third time. This time, he didn’t say anything, just pulled out a shotgun and […]

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table, until the wife asks, “Do you know her?” “Yes,” sighs the husband, “She’s my ex-wife. She took to drinking right […]

Bicycle Joke 1 While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. “What’s in the bags?”, asked the guard. “Sand,” said the cyclist. “Get them off – we ll take a look,” said the guard. The Cyclist did […]

“Bartender, gimme ‘nother drink, says a very drunk man. “Sorry sir,” replies the bartender. “I have to cut you off.” “Just gimme another drink.” “O.K. I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll give you another drink and call you a cab. When the cab comes, regardless of whether you’re done or not you have to […]

Funny Pick Up Line 1 A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 fake, 1 real and he says to her ” I will stop loving you when all the roses die” Funny Pick Up Line 2 A cat falls into the water & the rooster laughs. What’s the moral of the story??? A wet […]

You might be a redneck if your senior prom had daycare.

Top Pick Up Line 1 (after sex) Damn girl, you’re like those Indy cars… You can burn 4 rubbers at once! Top Pick Up Line 2 (Approach a group of them) I’m gonna have sex with you, you, and you. Alright, who’s first? Top Pick Up Line 3 (Look down at your crotch) It’s not […]

Also checkout Funny Cat Videos Cat Joke 1 For all of you with teenagers or who have had teenagers, or are a teenager, you may want to know why they really have a lot in common with cats: – Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name. – No matter […]

Murphy’s Laws of Work 01 All vacations and holidays create problems, except for one’s own. Murphy’s Laws of Work 02 An “acceptable” level of employment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job. Murphy’s Laws of Work 03 Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman […]

A waiter asks a man, “May I take your order, sir?” “Yes,” the man replies. “I’m just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?” “Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they’re going to die.”

yo mama is so fat that when she jumped in the ocean all the whales started singing we are fammmmily even though your fatter than me. Really fat joke Submitted by thatcher

The Three Stars One day Steven Spielberg, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Pierce Brosnan were in a jungle in order to take some shots for a new movie. Unfortunately, they were caught by a tribal group. As they were about to be executed they pleaded to the Queen of the Tribe for her mercy. She said, ”Get […]

Three hicks were working on a telephone tower – Steve, Bruce and Jed. Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, “Someone should go and tell his wife.” Jed says, “OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.” Two hours later, he comes back […]

An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head. “Yech!” says the woman. “Get some toilet paper.” “What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now.”

A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had. The old explorer said, “Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my […]

Two sperm are swimming in a women’s body. One sperm says to the other in exhaustion, “Whew, just how far is the uterus anyway?” The second sperm begins to laugh and says, “The uterus!? We just past the esophogus.”

Yo' mama so fat, she goes to the beach and she's the only one who gets a tan!

A little girl is sitting on her grandpa’s lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled. Finally the little girl asks, “Grandpa, did God make you?” “He sure did honey, a long […]

Paddy and his two Irish friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine.” His second friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair […]

Cats do some of the funniest things on Youtube. Here’s a few of my favorite funny cat videos. Hilarious Funny Cat Videos Funny Cats YouTube Video Compilation of funny cat video clips. THE BEST CAT VIDEO YOU’LL EVER SEE YouTube Video Compilation of funny cat video clips. Funny Cats 3 YouTube Video Compilation of funny […]

Hair And Bald Joke 1 A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. “I have just the thing,” says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this between […]

Dog Joke 1 A man took his dog to the vets and asked the vet to completely remove the dogs tail. The vet confused said “Why do you want me to do that? the dogs tail is perfectly healthy.” The man replied “Well the wifes mother comes this weekend and I want to make sure […]

A man walked into a bar and the bartender said, “Don’t touch the purple monkey up in room 222.” The man sneered and went straight up to room 222 and opened the door. There sitting right in front of him was a purple monkey. The man laughed again and touched the monkey. He then started […]

Ant Joke 1 Why don’t anteaters get sick ? Because they are full of antibodies! Ant Joke 2 Why did the ant-elope ? Nobody gnu ! Ant Joke 3 Who is the most famous French ant ? Napoleant ! Ant Joke 4 What do you call an and with frogs legs ? An antphibian ! […]

An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket agent asked, “Sir, what’s that on your shoulder?” The old farmer said, “That’s my pet rooster Chucky. Wherever I go, Chucky goes.” “I’m sorry, sir,” said the ticket agent. “We can’t allow animals in the theater.” The old farmer went around the corner […]

A woman was shopping in a fairly nice dress store. Trying on a dress and liking it, she asked the salesman the price. When he told her, she launched into a tirade about prices these days, covering just about everything from housing to auto tires. After ten minutes or so, the salesman had obviously had […]

Pamela Anderson and the Queen of England die on the same day. As they are approaching the gates of heaven, God tells them that there is only ONE spot left. Knowing this, Pamela decides to seduce God by showing her bare breasts. God looks at them and says, “Very nice.” “Does that mean I”m in?” […]

A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, “What is 2+2?” The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, “4” Then the mathematician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, “4.0” Then the lawyer was called […]

A man went to a gift store to buy his girlfriend a pair of gloves. He had the manager try them on. She said they were perfect, so he had the manager wrap them up. When the manager gave him the gift she accidently gave him a pair of panties instead. When the girlfriend got […]