Q: How many musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One, two, one, two, three, four!

Any time you use a computer, it looks like work to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren’t exactly the societal benefits that everybody from the computer revolution expected but they’re not bad either. When […]

Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, like they do every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, “Do you think there’s baseball in heaven?” Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, “I dunno. But let’s make a deal: if I die […]

A man wants to celebrate his wife’s Birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake. Well he thinks for a while and says, “Put ‘You’re not getting older,’ at the top and ‘You’re getting better’ at the […]

A Catholic priest and a Mormon bishop are on the same airplane and seated beside each other. “Is it still a requirement of your faith that you are not to drink coffee?” asked the priest. The Mormon bishop responds, “Yes that is still one of our beliefs.” The Catholic priest then asks, “Have you ever […]

Adult jokes, not suitable for young children. Adult Joke 1 ———– A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, “Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?” The wife replies, “Cut it off and shove it up his arse!” The […]

A couple had been married for many years, and their son had gotten old enough to date. One day the boy brought a girl over to diner. The mother was thrilled with her son’s choice and couldn’t wait for the wedding. However, the father was upset and, eventually, the boy asked, “Dad, why don’t you […]

Knock Knock Who’s there! Alex! Alex who? Alex Plain later! Knock Knock Who’s there! Alex! Alex who? Alex the questions round here!

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more […]

MAN: I’d like to buy some dog food. CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a dog? MAN: Yes. CHECKOUT LADY: Where is he? MAN: He’s at home. CHECKOUT LADY: I’m sorry, I can’t sell this dog food to you unless I see the dog. Store policy. The next day, the man returns. MAN: I’d like to […]

A woman sat on a plane heading for New York, when the pilot annouces that because of difficulties with the plane’s engines, he must make an emergency landing. The woman, fearing that this may be the end of her life looks over to a man sitting next to her and rips her shirt and bra […]

Question: Why did the chicken lay her eggs on a axe? Answer: She wanted to hachet Question: What do you call a egg who’s done lots of things? Answer: An egg who has a lot of eggsperience. Question: Where do you find information about eggs? Answer: In the hen-cyclopedia Question: Why is the chef so […]

A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!” The man says, “There’s no call for […]

A man was visiting Spain and passed by a restaurant in Madrid after a bullfight. They were advertising that they served the balls of the bull who lost the bullfight. Intrigued, the man went inside, only to find that there was a six-week waiting list to get to eat the loser’s balls. So he signed […]

An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. “I want to become a lawyer. How much is it for the express degree you told me about?” “It’s $50,000,” the lawyer said. “But why? You’ll be dead soon, why do you want to become a lawyer?” “That’s my business! […]

A beautiful young blonde woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. […]

Our local drugstore was robbed of 500 bottles of Viagra. The suspect is known to be a hardened criminal!

The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, “I’m so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us.” The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that my dear?” she asked. The little boy replied, “I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb […]

A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll you have?” The skeleton says, “A beer and a mop.”

What do you call a 90-year-old man who can still masturbate? Miracle Whip!

College Joke 1 An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school. “Tell me,” inquired the interviewer, “where do you expect to be ten years from now?” “Well, let’s see,” replied the student. “It’s Wednesday afternoon. I guess I ll be on the golf course by now.” College Joke 2 Teenage Driver: […]

Teeth Joke 1 Fan: I’ve always admired you. Are your teeth your own? Actor: Whose do you think they are? Teeth Joke 2 What did the vampire call his false teeth? A new fangled device. Teeth Joke 3 What happened to the man who put his false teeth in backwards? He ate himself! Teeth Joke […]

Tiger Woods Joke 01 Did you hear Nike’s new motto? Just do me. Tiger Woods Joke 02 Did you hear Tiger Woods changed his name to Cheetah? Tiger Woods Joke 03 One of the women who claims she slept with Tiger Woods says they never talked about golf while having sex. However, contractually Tiger was […]

Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying. She moaned to her mom and brother, “Nobody loves me … the whole world hates me!” Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up […]

Why did the hearing aid saleman give it up for a life of piracy? Because he only made a good buccaneer.

What’s the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One’s a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling scavenger, the other is just a fish.

Funny Joke 01 Girl : Do you love me? Boy : Yes Dear. Girl : Would you die for me? Boy : No, mine is undying love. Funny Joke 02 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window! 2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor. 1st […]

A judge enters the courtroom, strikes the gavel and says, “Before I begin this trial, I have an announcement to make. “The lawyer for the defense has paid me $15,000 to swing the case his way. The lawyer for the plaintiff has paid me $10,000 to swing the case her way. “In order to make […]

Murphy Computer Law 1 75% of the bugs laws in this page can be applied to MS Windows (Any version). Murphy Computer Law 2 90% of a programmer errors come from data from other programmers. Murphy Computer Law 3 A chain letter – will be sent. To global. A dozen times. Murphy Computer Law 4 […]

Why did the referees stop the leper hockey game? There was a face-off in the corner.