– Last week, I went to a furniture store to look for a decaffeinated coffee table. They couldn’t help me. – For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. – I went to a general store but they wouldn’t let […]

The first set of free funny Yo Mamas….. stupid jokes. Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she bought a video tape on how to fix your VCR Yo mama’s so dumb, she stuck the phone up her ass and thought she was ma-kin’ a booty call. Yo mama is so stupid, she has a glass door […]

Baby in a Washing Machine Picture Caption Please add your funny picture caption below.

Car And Train Joke 1 A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell’s Angels bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man’s pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spat […]

Three nuns decided to quit so they went to the Mother Superior and said, “We don’t want to be nuns anymore, how do we quit?” The mother told them, “Do something unholy and come back here in 24 hours.” So the nuns left thinking, “What can I do that’s unholy?” The next day they went […]

A dumb fat blonde read an article on the dangers of eating too much fat and drinking too much booze and it scared the heck out of her! The fat blonde decided, “That’s it!” After today, no more reading.

exerpt from www.vnunet.com A three year-old boy has bought a £9,000 car on eBay using his mother’s account. Rachel and John Neal first realised something was wrong when they received an email from the seller congratulating them on their new purchase. “We couldn’t understand what was happening as neither of us had bought anything,” Rachel […]

Judge Joke 1 The cross eyed judge looked at the three defendants in the dock and said to the first one, “So how do you plead?” “Not guilty” said the second defendant. “I wasn’t talking to you” the judge replied. “I never said a word” the third defendant replied. Judge Joke 2 The defendant stood […]

Funny Adult Joke 1 A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits? The blonde, because she’s 18. Funny Adult Joke 2 A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn’t report it. The thief was spending less then his wife. Funny Adult Joke […]

Three guys are sitting in a bar when the first guy says, “My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and she doesn't have an automatic garage door.” The second guy says, “My wife is so dumb, she has a cellular phone antenna on her car and she […]

HE: I’m a photographer I’ve been looking for a face like yours! SHE: I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours!! HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance? SHE: No, I’d like to have some pleasure too!!! HE: How did you get to be so beautiful? SHE: I must […]

A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states. A roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris is the preferred method of execution in 16 states. All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face. According to Einstein’s theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can […]

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: You wanna go ride bikes!!!

The fourth part in the free funny Doctor Doctor jokes collection. Funny Doctor Doctor Jokes 1 Doctor, Doctor I think I’m a bell? Take these and if it doesn’t help give me a ring! Funny Doctor Doctor Jokes 2 Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage. Don’t talk rubbish! Funny Doctor Doctor Jokes […]

Teacher: “Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?” Sam: “I don’t know.” Teacher: “Bark, Sam, bark.” Sam: “Bow, wow, wow!”

A fourth-grader was excited that he had tried out and gotten a role in his school’s play. His father was really proud of him and asked, “So, what part did you get?” The little boy replies, “I got the part of a man who’s been married for 25 years.” His father congratulated him said “That’s […]

What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter.

Dad: “Son, what is the difference a penis and a loaf of bread?” Son: “I don’t know.” Dad: “Then remind me to never send you to the store for a loaf of bread.”

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up? Santa of course, because the other two don’t exist! What do you call […]

486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC. State-of-the-art: Any computer you can’t afford. Obsolete: Any computer you own. Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete. G3: Apple’s new Macs that make you say ‘Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond […]

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you're an engineer — you're in the wrong place.” So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing […]

There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!” After […]

Once upon a time, two little boys, Sammy and Tim, were sharing a room in the hospital. As they were getting to know each other a little bit, Sammy eventually asked Tim, “Hey, what’re you in for?” “I’m getting my tonsils out. I’m a little worried,” said Tim. “Oh, don’t worry about it,” Sammy said. […]

HE: I’m a photographer I’ve been looking for a face like yours! SHE: I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours!! HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance? SHE: No, I’d like to have some pleasure too!!! HE: How did you get to be so beautiful? SHE: I must […]

Journalist Joke 1 A car was involved in an accident in a street. As expected a large crowd gathered. A newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story could not get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, “Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim.” The […]

Travel And Tourist Joke 1 A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote:”I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in […]

Three railroad workers, a Chinese man, an Italian, and a redneck, are all sitting down to lunch. The Chinese man says, “If I get another egg roll in my lunch, I’ll kill myself.” The Italian guy says, “If I get another slice of pizza, I’ll kill myself.” The redneck says, “Iffin I get another ham […]

What NOT to do when gambling in a casino Casino Joke 01 Don’t ask casino security where the pinball machines are? Casino Joke 02 Don’t butt into a private high stakes poker tournament game saying “mind if I join in?” Casino Joke 03 Don’t ask the blackjack dealer if he knows any good card tricks? […]

A sad man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks him what the problem is. “My life is awful,” the man says. “Every night, I play Trivial Pursuit with my wife, and every night she beats me.” “Well, why don’t you just stop playing Trivial Pursuit?” the bartender asks. “I love the game,” the […]

A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas Cards. “What denomination?” asked the clerk. “Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?” said the woman. “Well, give me 30 Catholic, 10 Baptist ones, 20 Lutheran, and 40 Presbyterian.”