why did the python cross the road? to eat the chicken. Why did the python cross the road? joke Submitted by the chicken

Top Chuck Norris Joke 1 A duck’s quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly. Top Chuck Norris Joke 2 A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, […]

Political Joke 1 Republicans say “Merry Christmas!” Democrats say “Happy Holidays!” Political Joke 2 Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending 50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers on the street. Political Joke 3 Democrats get back at the Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes. Republicans re-wrap them and […]

This Funny Video compilation on YouTube has ~40,000,000 views!!! Funny Video Forty million people can’t all be wrong :-) Funny Cats Video Funny Video Clips FUNNY VIDEOS ACCIDENTS compilation

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a […]

Firefighter Joke 1 The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning. “Mr Graham sir, White Hart Lane is on fire!” “The cups man! Save the cups!” cries George. “Uh, the fire hasn’t spread to the canteen yet, sir.” Firefighter Joke 2 After the fire-truck arrived at a burning building in […]

I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador retriever had fresh air. She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and […]

Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym, his wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, ”Hey, Dave! How ya doin?” His wife […]

A dumb blonde Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to the Norwegian in a friendly manner. “Look,” he said, “let’s have a little game. I’ll ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I’ll buy you a drink. If you can’t […]

Your dog’s barking at the back door. Your spouse’s barking at the front. Who do you let in? Well, it’s your call, but the dog’ll stop barking when you let him in.

There were four country churches in a small Texas town: The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church and the Catholic Church. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels. One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the […]

What has more brains than a dead baby? the wall behind it =D dead baby joke. Submitted by tj

Q. Why is air a lot like sex? A. Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.

Eddie’s first-grade class was having a game of Name That Animal. The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, “What animal is this?” “A cat!” said Suzy. “Good job! Now, what’s this animal?” “A dog!” said Ricky. “Good! Now what animal is this?” she asked, holding up a picture of a deer. […]

The Broncos lost to the Patriots because they didn’t want a beat down from Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris vs Broncos Joke Submitted by anon

If you laid all of the lawyers in the world end-to-end around the equator, it would be a good idea to leave them there.

Two men are on opposite sides of the Earth. One is walking a tightrope. The other is getting a blowjob by a 90-year-old woman. Both get the exact same thought at the exact same time. “Don’t look down.”

One of life’s disappointments is discovering that the man who writes the bank’s loan ads is not the one who makes the bank loans.

One Christmas, mom decreed that she was no longer going to remind her children of their thank-you note duties. As a result, their grandmother never received acknowledgments of the generous checks she had given the children for Christmas. The next Christmas things were a little different, however. “The children came over in person to thank […]

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth” — even when you don’t know anything. The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he […]

Q: How many blonde jokes are there? A: One. The rest are all true stories.

A man, his son, and a dog walk into a bar. “Ow!” “Ow!” “Woof!”

A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years. One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wetsuit…. Man: “Hi! Am I ever happy to see you.” Girl: “Hi! It seems like you’ve been here a long time. How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?” Man: “It’s been […]

Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah? A: A dog that chases cars – and catches them! Q: What happens when it rains cats and dogs? A: You can step in a poodle! Q: What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear? A: A petticoat! Q: What do […]

A trucker who has been out on the road for two weeks stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, “I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!” The Madam is astonished. “But sir, for that kind of money you could have one […]

A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. “We need a fourth for poker tonight” said the friend. “I’ll be right over” whispered the doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, “Is it serious dear?” “Oh yes, quite serious” […]

Buy me a beer if you want the story told of why I moved down South from the frost and cold. Why I'm knee deep in therapy, liquor, and pills. Why I've given up charity in lieu of cheap thrills. Why I loathe mistletoe, fruitcake and bells –And why I'll celebrate Xmas when it freezes […]

An American consultant was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, “Only […]

A rather attractive woman goes up to the register in an upscale hamburger establishment. She gestures alluringly to a large man who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his cheek, which is slowly turning […]

Did you hear about the married man who took Viagra and a laxative at the same time? He didn’t know if he was coming or going.