A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows […]

A little kid asks his father, “Daddy, is God a man or a woman?” “Both son. God is both.” After awhile the kid comes again and asks, “Daddy, is God black or white?” “Both son, both.” “Daddy, does God love children?” “Yes son, he loves all children.” The child returns a few minutes later and […]

A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the benediction, he had planned to call the couple down for a brief wedding ceremony in front of the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn’t think of the names of those who were to be married. “Will those […]

Chuck Norris Joke 1 Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris Joke 2 Chuck Norris doesn’t stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks. Chuck Norris Joke 3 Chuck Norris doesn’t throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down! Chuck Norris Joke 4 Chuck Norris doesnt use after […]

Knock Knock Who’s there? Kenneth! Kenneth who? Kenneth little kids play with you!

Amish Joke 01 Sign behind an Amish carriage: “Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on grass and oats. CAUTION: Avoid exhaust!” Amish Joke 02 You have just received the Amish virus. Since we have no electricity or computers, you are on the honor system. Please forward this message to everyone in your address book and then delete […]

Jesus Joke 01 Jesus was a Californian: He walked around bare foot. He never cut His hair. He started a new religion. Jesus Joke 02 Jesus was a woman: He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of guys who just didn’t get it. He fed a crowd at a moment’s notice […]

A guy burned two ears… so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened. He said, ”I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang… So, instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear…” ”But how the heck did you burn the other ear?” The doctor asked. ”They […]

Salesman Joke 1A salesman walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared.“I will grant you three wishes,” announced the genie. “But since Satan still hates me, for every wish you make, your rival gets the wish as well — only double.”The salesman thought about this for […]

During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the little animals. The big animals were crushing little animals and at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals. At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first […]

Funny Horse Jokes Funny Horse Joke 1Why did the horse miss the joust? He had the knight off! Funny Horse Joke 2A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn’t show up at the church. He got colt feet Funny Horse Joke 3As horses say to one another. Any friend […]

– Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it! – Of course I don’t look busy… I did it right the first time! – Do not start with me. You will not win. – You have the right to remain silent. So please shut up. – All stressed out, and no […]

There was a mamma mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole outside of a farm house out in the country. The papa mole reached his head out of the hole and said, “Mmmmm, I smell sausage.” The mama mole reached her head outside of the hole and said “Mmmmmm, […]

Did you know Helen Keller had a playset in her backyard!????????……. nether did she!! :) Helen Keller Joke Submitted by anon

A woman answered her front door and found two little boys standing there holding a list. “Lady,” one of them explained, “we’re on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar.” “Wow,” the woman replied. “Who sent you […]

A bear walks into a bar and says, “I want a bourbon and ……………. coke” The bartender asks “what’s with the huge pause?” The bear says, “I’ve had them all my life.”

What did the bra say to the hat? “You go on ahead, while I give these two a lift.”

This guy went into a restaurant and ordered his meal. When the waitress came out with his soup, he noticed that she had her thumb stuck into it. This upset him, but he let it go. She then brought out his chili, and again her thumb was in the food. He let it go again. […]

100 Funny Quotes Funny Quote 01 A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Funny Quote 02 A dream catcher works, if your dream is to be gay – Demetri Martin Funny Quote 03 A penny saved is ridiculous. Funny Quote 04 After twelve years of […]

One day Mickey Mouse woke up and Minnie wasn’t there. He went to look for her and, as he stepped outside, he saw “Mickey Sucks!” written out in a yellow liquid in the snow. He investigated and realized there was good news and bad news. It appeared to be Goofy’s urine, but Minnie’s handwriting.

There’s a big conference of beer producers. At the end of the day, all of the presidents of all the beer companies decide to have a drink in a bar. The president of ‘Budweiser’ orders a Bud, the president of ‘Miller’ orders a Miller Lite, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and the list goes on. […]

What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger

Farmer Joke 1 This farmer has 500 hens but no rooster so he goes to his neighbor and asks him if he could buy a rooster for $100. The neighbor says, “You can have this rooster. His name’s Roy. He ll get all your hens pregnant. He’s a real stud.” So the farmer takes him […]

Fat Joke 1 You are so fat NASA orbits satellites around you. Fat Joke 2 You are so fat you were baptized in Sea World. Fat Joke 3 You are so fat, you had your baby pictures taken by satellite. Fat Joke 4 You have so many double chins you look like you are staring […]

Mark your calendar with the multitude of holidays to celebrate. Here”s just a few of our favorites… Seasonal Affective Disorder Day: January 2 With Christmas and New Years a thing of the past, now it”s time to celebrate the long, cold, gray winter months that loom ahead. The Day the Music Died Day: February 3 […]

45 Funny Sex Quotes Funny Sex Quote 01 A girl’s legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part. – Redd Foxx (from Comedy Album – Huffin and Puffin) Funny Sex Quote 02 As a lover, I’m about as impressive as a magician on the radio. – Scott Roeben Funny Sex Quote […]

The man asks the girl if she’s afraid and she shakes her head bravely. He has had more experience, but it’s the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and she shivers; her body tenses; but he’s gentle like he promised he’d be. He looks deeply within her eyes and […]

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling […]

A smart blonde, a stupid blonde and Santa Claus play poker, who wins? The stupid blonde because the other two don't exist.

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. “Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight’s the […]