Short Funny Joke 1
A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag.
“Our flag symbolizes our taxes,” he said.
“We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them.”
“That’s the same with us,” the American said, “only we see stars, too.”
Short Funny Joke 2
A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas Cards.
“What denomination?” asked the clerk.
“Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?” said the woman.
“Well, give me 30 Catholic, 10 Baptist ones, 20 Lutheran, and 40 Presbyterian.”
Short Funny Joke 3
Archaeologists in India recently uncovered a new dinosaur. It’s actually many dinosaurs but one is in the middle of all the others. The one in the middle is believed to have killed the others with a single roundhouse kick to the face.
The archaeologists wanted to call it ChuckNorrisaurs but the Indian government changed the name to Himotosaurous because it’s simply not possible for Mr. Norris to be killed.
Short Funny Joke 4
Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan.
Short Funny Joke 5
Doctor, doctor, I m having difficulty sleeping.
Doctor: Well maybe it’s your bed.
Oh, I m all right at night, it’s in the day I have problems.
Short Funny Joke 6
Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.
Short Funny Joke 7
These four guys were walking down the street, a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker.
A reporter comes running up and says, “Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?”
The Saudi says, “What’s a shortage?”
The Russian says, “What’s meat?”
The North Korean says, “What’s an opinion?”
The New Yorker, says, “Excuse me?? What’s excuse me?”
Short Funny Joke 8
When young Jose, newly arrived in the United States, made his first trip to Yankee Stadium, there were no tickets left for sale.
Touched by his disappointment, a friendly ticket salesman found him a perch near the American flag.
Later, Jose wrote home enthusiastically about his experience. “And the Americans, they are so friendly!” he concluded.
“Before the game started, they all stood up and looked at me and sang,. Jose, can you see?
Short Funny Joke 9
You might be a redneck if during the wedding ceremony the minister said, “Do you, DeWayne, take Connie to be your old lady?”
Short Funny Joke 10
You might be a redneck if on the 4th of July you spend it at the waffle house beside a drunk while waiting to get your pastor out of jail.