What is the similarity between a shrimp and a man?
You can enjoy all but the head.

What is the similarity between a dolphin and a man?
They are both said to be intelligent, but no one can prove this.

What is the similarity between a microwave oven and a man?
They both get hot in 15 seconds.

Why can’t a man be both good looking and intelligent?
Because that would make him a woman.

Why is a man’s brain the size of a peanut?
Because it is swollen.

Why are batteries better than men?
Batteries have at least one positive end.

Why does it take one million sperm to fertilise one egg?
Because sperm are male and they refuse to ask directions.

Why are men like the letter Q?
Because it is a big fat zero with a small protrusion.

Why do fewer women get married these days?
Because they would rather have bacon in the fridge, than a pig in the living room.

What is the similarity between a video recorder and a man?
They go forwards, backwards, forwards,backwards, stop and eject.

Why is the male intelligence worth more than the female?
It is rarer.

Why do men prefer to marry virgins?
They cannot handle the criticism.

What do you call an attractive intelligent and sensitive man?
A rumour.

Why don’t men go through menopause?
They never left puberty.

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