– It’s impossible to believe that the sperm that created you beat out 1,000,000 others.

– The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

– If you were any more stupid, you’d have to be watered twice a week.

– The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.

– When your IQ reaches 50, you should sell.

– You may have a “full six-pack” but lack the plastic thing to hold it all together.

– Your set low personal standards and then consistently fail to achieve them.

– You’re depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

– Were I king I would not allow you to breed.

– You seem to have reached rock bottom and started to dig.

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